Dear friends and family,
The thought that I’m already a quarter of the way through my time here amazes and saddens me at the same time! I am settling into routine and am totally enjoying the kids. So many things have changed since I was last here, but I sometimes feel as if I never left.
Of course, the overwhelming desire to help each and every one sometimes clouds better judgment, but I try to keep in mind that I’m only one person and God will always provide for that which I can’t. It’s all Him working through me, anyway… though I still often feel that my heart can’t contain it all.
I am acutely aware of the importance in how I handle every situation. Those times when I feel that I can’t take another minute, I have a choice to either walk away in self righteousness or humble myself and face the challenge.
Love. This is the foundation of all of the commandments, yet we don’t even really know what it means to truly love. We say we do, but our very actions often reveal our utter ignorance. We’ve come to commonly associate this word with romance, but true love goes so far beyond romance and marriage that to equate the two would be completely ridiculous.
To love as I have been called demands complete selflessness…I must set aside my own desires or ideas and be a servant of those around me….always considering the ramifications and implications of everything I do and say.
It is easy to love a child. They are helpless and so there is great simplicity in fulfilling their very basic needs. All they want is attention and their love in return is sweet and uncomplicated. It is so much harder to truly love a peer or equal. Things are always so much different than they initially appear. History, prejudices, baggage, pride, and cynicism can complicate a situation before it even occurs…unless we determine to love, regardless.
These children who hold my heart are only a small portion of who I am called to serve. The thought of that scares me…to limit my responsibility to that would make life easy, but I can’t. I suppose the perspective of my calling is broadening considerably.
Jesus is love. He loves me. I am called to love no matter the circumstance.
To love requires that I give my whole heart…without any expectation of gain - it is unconditional.
To love sometimes means that my heart will be broken, I will be tempted to regret the sacrifice, and I will often feel lost. But in that loss of myself, I am found…because His grace is sufficient. I am but a small drop in the bucket. If my life isn’t unleashed and extraordinary, it is worthless.
Shatter the box in which you’ve placed your plans and expectations. Set aside your pride and preconceived ideas. Throw out the plan you have and take a step back. You have one life to live and it’s fleeting. Love.
Here is my address in Uganda:
Kathryn'sLetters © 2008 http://www.achristianhome.org A Christian Home © 1999-2008