Forgiveness Is
A Sacrifice
I recently have
been extremely hurt by one of my daughters. She
came to me in a moment of extreme trouble. After
receiving much love and offers of help, she
returned to her home and repaid my love by
calling me a liar and exaggerator to all the
family. I cannot adequately explain the depth of
sadness it caused me except to liken it to a
death. Which it is really- a death of trust and
closeness. A feeling of betrayal and
bewilderment. I drank in the feelings and
wallowed in sadness and anger for a few days,
feeling completely justified in doing so.
However, I was finding that my joy in all other
things was being stifled by my unforgiveness,
bitterness and self-pity.
So I played worship music in my early morning
devotions, and allowed the music to soothe my
troubled soul. I read through my favourite
psalms and allowed God’s Word to be as the Balm
of Gilead to me. I cried, prayed and meditated
on forgiveness- for that is what I had to do- I
had to forgive my daughter. At first the
conviction that I had to forgive her made me
baulk- I had a right to be angry and hurt and I
wanted her to suffer by feeling alienated from
me for a time. But gradually I came to see that
I really was hurting myself more than anyone
else. And I was hurting the LORD. For surely He
had more reason than me to feel hard-done by,
rejected by men and women whom He had served and
loved and ministered to. Betrayed with a kiss.
Abandoned and rejected as a blasphemer-whipped
for transgressions that He never committed.
Crucified in our place in an agonizing death,
feeling separated and rejected from His Father,
our Father! I was feeling far away from God as I
nurtured my hurts. So in an act of sheer faith
and obedience, I forgave my daughter and left
the feelings of hurt and betrayal at Christ’s
feet. I felt lighter inside, but still unhappy
at what had passed between us. I am trusting God
to heal the remaining hurts.
It took a real
effort on my part to be kind to her when she
phoned me recently, but I am believing that in
time, God will help me with this as well. It
isn’t easy- forgiveness. In fact it is sometimes
the hardest thing we can be called on to do. But
in choosing to forgive, I chose freedom. I said
‘no’ to bitterness, anger and revengeful
thoughts, and ?’yes’
to forgiveness, love and reconciliation. If I
never feel quite as close to my daughter as I
did in the past, at least I have done my part. I
have forgiven and it was a sacrifice-
forgiveness is never easy and doesn’t come
cheap. Just take a look at what it cost our
LORD. Forgiveness is always a sacrifice. But the
alternative is becoming bound up in roots of
bitterness and anger. I chose freedom. I owe it
to Jesus Who sacrificed His all to set us free.
And it feels good. His ways are always
good!
It’s A Sacrifice
A limp figure hangs
dying on a tree
After praying for
strength in Gethsemane-
Drank the cup and
then paid the price-
Forgiveness is not
cheap,
It’s a sacrifice.
©
Glenys Robyn Hicks 1998
'Forbearing one
another, and forgiving one another, if any man have
a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you'
Colossians 3:13 |
