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                A Woman’s Work...

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I’m tired, and it’s getting late... I think I’ll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes into the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the newspapers strewn on the floor, picked up the game pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the hair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse. Mom then creamed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails.

Hubby called, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I’m on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog’s dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out a bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework. In her own room, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow. About that time, the hubby turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular: "I’m going to bed,"

...and he did.

 

                                     Aunt Edna

As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's
ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and
asked her husband never to touch it. For fifty years Uncle Jack left the
box alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was
putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it
might hold something important. Opening it, he found two doilies and
$82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents.
"My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained.. "She
told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got
mad at you." Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only
been mad at him twice. "What's the $82,500 for?" he asked. "Oh, that's
the money I made selling the doilies."
o Christmas


 T'was the Month After Christmas

T'was the month after Christmas,
and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled,
the eggnog I'd taste,
At the holiday parties,
had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales,
there arose such a number;

I walked to the store,
(less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous,
meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces,
and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls,
the bread and the cheese,
And the way I'd never said,
"No, thank you, please."

As I dressed myself,
in my husband's old shirt,
And prepared once again,
to do battle with dirt,

I said to myself,
as I only can
"You can spend a winter
disguised as a man!"

So-away with the last,
of the sour cream dip,

the fruit cakes and candies,
every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food,
that I like must be banished
Till all the additional,
ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie,
not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew,
on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits,,
or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot,
and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,
and life is a bore-
But isn't that what,
January is for?

Unable to giggle,
no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all,
and to all a good diet


 

 

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