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I sure can appreciate some of these!!!  For several years I've been typing the weekly Lord's Day bulletin at our church.  O, I've made several errors... I don't know if they're on par with some of these, but they have been funny (sometimes)!  Send me your bulletin bloopers and I'll add them here!

                   Church Bulletin Bloopers
 

  • 1. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  • 2. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
  • 3. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sabbath.
  • 4. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
  • 5. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
  • 6. A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
  • 7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  • 8. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • 9. Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
  • 10. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Adams.
  • 11. Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
  • 12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  • 13. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
  • 14. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
  • 15. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
  • 16. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
  • 17. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
  • 18. The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
  • 19. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  • 20. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

More bulletin bloopers!

  • Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch  all the way from Africa.
  • PRAYER & FASTING Conference. "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference; includes all meals."
  • Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  • "Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands."
  • Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowler’s. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
  • The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
  • The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
  • Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  • Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Joe’s sermons.
  • The "Over 60’s Choir" will be disbanded for the summer with thanks.
  • The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are afflicted with any church.
  • The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
  • Remember in prayer those who are sick of our church and community.
  • Next Sunday Mrs. Smith will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It’s a terrible experience."

The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

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