Thoughts among the Rambling
Roses!
Sandy
Every time I have started writing since the last
Home Notes or Nutmeg Notes sent out, I have stopped after a few
sentences and parked whatever it was I would have written. You see,
I have this pet peeve about people writing one way and living
another. When I don't have it all together I find myself questioning
what I'm writing because I don't want to be sending out a lie. I
would rather not write something than to write it and see a
hypocrite in the mirror.
Guess what I'm realizing? I'll never have it all together! If I wait
until every area of my life is precisely how I long to have it
before writing...
there shall never be another sentence to share! I've shared similar
thoughts before because this has been an ongoing challenge for me
but I'm starting to recognize the patterns in my life.
There are times when I am being a beautiful helpmate to my husband
and I am loving him with God's love instead of my sometimes selfish
womanly flesh. It just might be that at that same time, my house is
a mess or I'm struggling with order, routines, and/or looking well
to the ways of my household.
There are seasons when I am cooking and managing my meals with great
care and snapping at my darling children all the while.
I'm mean sometimes and even though I hate it and I pray for help
over it...
I still am sometimes. Even if I don't say it out loud... I'm feeling
it.
This reminds me of something my daughter said one night after her
little brother got in trouble for saying not nice things to her. She
looked at her brother and then at her dad (who was the one dealing
with Braxton) and said, "He's still thinking it."
She knew that even though he had submitted to our authority and
stopped ...
he could do what he wanted with his mind!
This has been me many times... I'll want to be or feel or think one
way but raging in my heart and mind will be another.
There are times when I get lazy and tired of working so hard on a
house that can get cluttered so quickly. During these times, I take
care of dishes, laundry, and basics and that is it. There were times
in former years when I didn't do that much. I lose my motivation and
let one important routine after another slide off my list and even
though I might glance as the priority falls... I don't do much to
retrieve it!
Even though I could go on for days on my many faults and
shortcomings... I don't want to bore you about me and take up any of
your precious time with it. Just suffice to say... I fail & falter,
mess up, and sin no matter how hard I try or great are my
intentions. Accepting just how imperfect I am brings me closer to
seeing and being AWARE at all times at how perfect GOD is.
Constant distractions have also pulled me continually away from
writing...
from reading... from creating pages for the scrapbooks I long to
fill. My toddler has been in my lap at this computer since he was
born. I'd hold him close to my heart as he snoozed and as the weeks
turned into months, he'd nestle in an organic cotton sling I was
delighted to find for him. When he started crawling and walking...
I'd wait until he was tired and he'd climb up here with his blanket.
For awhile, he would rest with books on a little pallet I made him
on the floor at my feet. Now, he hops up here and begs to "drah"
(draw:) and fills paper after paper with brightly colored marker
creations and pen scribbles. He scrawls out fish and circles for his
older brother in basic training and loves to make lines and
squiggles just to see them come from his drawing instruments:) This
also means I can read emails but rarely type them!
What I have learned to do with this after five kids is: I just
haven't cherished enough! Now? I want to absorb every minute of it:)
Our family has been busy trying to make order of our home and yard.
My husband has been working from morning until night so we are doing
what we can to allow some rest when he is home. When I start feeling
overwhelmed as I try to do so much of the child raising on my own
until my husband can be here more... I try to remember the
importance and opportunities to teach them in everything!
"And this responsibility is not equally divided between the parents:
it is upon the mothers of the present that the future of the world
depends, in even a greater degree than upon the fathers, because it
is the mothers who have the sole direction of the children's early,
most impressible years."
"The mother is qualified," says Pestalozzi, "and qualified by the
Creator Himself, to become the principal agent in the development of
her child; . .
. and what is demanded of her is --- a thinking love."
Charlotte Mason from the Home Education Series "Training and
educating children under nine"
Volume I
The yard took hours of work and some precious friends blessed us
with tools and hard labor for all of them. They even carried the
whole truck load for the dump the next morning!
We threw away trash, took things to the shed, cleared the area of
weeds and trimmed branches. We carried arm loads of thorny rose bush
prunings to the edge of our land for burning or disposing of later.
After all of this, raking, refilling the bird feeders, and watering
all of our plants... things are looking much better!
Praise God from Whom ALL blessings flow! He has kept alive so many
plants that would have died without His tender care! We have
blooming heirloom roses cascading all around the green leaves and
climbing roses in a different color making their way all the way up
our house this year!
The Confederate Rose is a beautiful green and growing large already
and dwarfs the tiny butterfly bush I planted last year or the year
before that.
Calla lilies are coming up and some of them are with the hostas that
keep coming back every year as well as the spider grass planted by
my sister.
On the porch, big pottery planters (I got on clearance some time
ago!) hold a rosemary plant on each side of our door and herbs are
lined in clay pots along the sides. My sister gave us two Palms last
year and now we have one on each side of our steps:) We have several
peppers and a few herbs and I added two lavender plants today.
Granted, I have had success with one lavender bush that I
accidentally killed the same year it flourished and have been
through countless others since but I am going to try it again!
Our house cleaning is SUCH a chore when so much living and growing
is going on all around us outside! I need to require more from the
kids and I am making up some more simple daily lists to better fit
the summer hours on the way. For me, I'll keep up with my routines
and add what I am led to as I go.
I figure if I keep the sinks, tubs, and toilets clean in the
bathrooms, make sure all trash is taken out daily, make bed making
mandatory, and make sure dishes and laundry are completed each
day... I'm doing enough to keep things tidy. This way we have more
time for outdoor exploring:) and maybe even for reading and
scrapbooking!
How are you doing, excellent homemaker? Are you faring well as you
do all that must be done to take care of your family and the home
God has blessed you with? Have some chores to check off and be done
with each day so that you can make your schedule include something
fun and beautiful. Hugging someone you love and relaxing can be
rewards quite priceless for the heart:)
Home is the true wife's kingdom. There, first of all places, she
must be strong and beautiful."
~ J.R. Miller, Secrets of Happy Home Life
Son 4:16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; Blow upon my
garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come
into his garden, And eat his precious fruits.
I will close for I want to share some writing from the 1700's that
blessed me amazingly to read.
She owns her dependence upon Christ himself to make this garden
fruitful. To him she has an eye (Son_4:15) as the fountain of
gardens, not only the founder of them, by whom they are planted and
to whom they owe their being, but the fountain of them, by which
they are watered and to which they own their continuance and
well-being, and without whose constant supplies they would soon
become like the dry and barren wilderness. To him she gives all the
glory of her fruitfulness, as being nothing without him: O fountain
of gardens! fountain of all good, of all grace, do not thou fail me.
Those that are gardens to Christ must acknowledge him a fountain to
them, from whose fulness they receive and to whom it is owing that
their souls are as a watered garden.
She invites Christ to the best entertainment the garden affords:
“Let my beloved then come into his garden and eat his pleasant
fruits; let him have the honour of all the products of the garden
(it is fit he should), and let me have the comfort of his acceptance
of them, for that is the best account they can be made to turn to.”
Observe, 1. She calls it his garden; for those that are espoused to
Christ call nothing their own, but what they have devoted to him and
desire to be used for him. When the spices flow forth then it is fit
to be called his garden, and not till then. The fruits of the garden
are his pleasant fruits, for he planted them, watered them, and gave
the increase. What can we pretend to merit at Christ's hands when we
can invite him to nothing but what is his own already?
[Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible --- parts excerpted
from the commentary on Sol. 4:16]
Isn't this just lovely? In one part, it even says that when God's
Spirit is poured out the wilderness becomes a fruitful field!
My home and my yard have resembled wilderness paths far more than
I'd care to admit but I am not limited to my own strength! When I
invited God to my garden... the garden of my very soul... He turns
all barren into beautiful.
Praying the same for you, dear devout to our Lord!
Love,
Sandy
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