This is my blography - simply my personal thoughts; this blog is just a small part or purpose of this website. The chief aim of this site is to bring glory to God and good food of His Word to families.  May each visit fill you with fresh bread and lingering words to savor. 

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When I count the blessings in my life, quickly apparent are the blessings that have come from correspondence with readers of this website or from those who have received The Welcome Home messages over the years.  I am honoured to receive and reply to women's questions and letters.  Some of the letters I receive are truly heartrending and many have left me speechless---except to carry them before the LORD.  Still other life-stories have been difficult to hear but easy to carry to the foot of the Cross.  It's a joy to hear stories of the LORD's will and work in different lives. 

One such story, that originally began long before I received the letter a year ago, was from a woman who wrote regarding one of the messages I'd written.  She told of the loss of her husband several years previous and her ongoing trust in the LORD and His faithfulness in her life.  What a joy it was to receive a letter from her yesterday---almost a year exactly to the date of her original letter.  What a difference a year makes---what a difference the LORD makes!   I smiled at her account of the way the LORD so marvelously provided her with the man she'd been praying for---the man whose story is much like her own in that his wife was killed in an auto accident some time ago.  I grinned as I read that they had been next-door neighbors as children and had remained life-long friends and yet, only now, has the friendship turned into this sort of love for one another.   The LORD, in His merciful kindness, has blessed this woman---a long-time widow and mother---with the gift of a soon-to-be-husband to share her life.  I smiled and cried as I read her account of how the LORD has worked and her joy at anticipating the marvelous days ahead. 

 

It's scary to see how readily or how quickly someone is lauded. In this case, Cindy Sheehan, the mother whose son was killed over a year ago, continues to mock the President and everyone associated with the War on Terror.  It's really interesting how quickly the tide shifts, how shallow the thinking and understanding of the times.  Many conspirators would likely think my reasoning is shallow and ill-advised.  It amazes me the credibility she's secured and the support she's garnered in the media.  Well, most of the media.  I can't believe superficial coverage---the straining at gnats and swallowing camels.

It's sad to me that so many are unequivocally standing with a woman whose rage has taken her to these heights---or, more accurately, plummeted her to these depths of depravity.  I cannot imagine the pain she indeed must be feeling at the loss of her son.  And it's that loss that many claim to focus on when dismissing or excusing her rage and vulgar communications.   On day 9 of her protest, she stated, that she wasn't leaving until her mission was accomplished, and then said, I will stay the course. I will finish the mission. I will take no prisoners."    Take no prisoners.  She's practically taken the media hostage---or perhaps, more accurately, unbeknownst to her, they've taken her hostage.  What better poster girl for their cause than a vociferous grieving mother?   NHow that may seem a bit of an attack on her---and I don't mean it that way---what I mean is that it seems to me that what was sort of "righteous anger" in the beginning, sure seems to have been exploited now by the growing number of political machines funneling money and support for "her" cause ---that's not really her cause at all, but theirs! Now, with the massive network of financing and publicity, not to mention the enormous groundswell of support from people who make their living singing and playing roles written by other people.  And speaking of actors and acting, all the while this has been going on, I have this nagging thought in the back of my mind.  I'm no poli-sci major, not political pundit, and am certainly no Shakespeare, but I can't help musing: the lady protests too much [methinks].  Well, so then, it's pretty scary to see the  blanket endorsement by media of someone who claims to have had no agenda and then, additionally seem to disregard or to discount her lack of experience or her lack of credentials, elevate her to such a lofty position.   Scary, too, that critical thinkers are jumping right into the fray with her -- even endorsing acts spawned from her own means of demonstration---and perhaps the most surprising of all are the strange alliances being formed.  It's almost ironic, the diversity of supporters.  If immorality isn't the undoing of this country, something close to it will be.  

So now, it wouldn't surprise me if grassroots organizations endorse her for public office---though, she's gathered more notoriety and "nobility" and more attention now than she would in public office.   'Won't surprise me, either, if the citizens demand a tax-exempt status for her---and then claim the same for themselves.  In her words, ""I'm just so honored that the universe chose me to be the spark that has set off a raging inferno..."  Wow.   The Universe.

The dialectic praxis... listen long enough, it will all seem plausible.  Listen long enough, the chant will become personal.  When it becomes personal, a vendetta against the supposed enemy will heave more fuel on the fire.  It's interesting that the media machine mows a wide swath: anyone questioning the activities or the motives is labeled a rightwing liar.  As if no one but a radical-right-wing-whacko disagrees with her.  Not all who disagree with her are against peace and love politics and war ---isn't that so narrow!--- perhaps they just see that the religion behind terror isn't so peaceful and that they will strike again sometime, somewhere... today.

So the inferno will continue to burn...  apparently, though it was stated that she had no agenda, and going back on what she said about leaving Crawford at the end of the President's working vacation, it seems she's about to embark on phase 2---and take her "case" to Washington---The media will have a heyday with this one!   So the bloggers are blogging and the wires are humming and the world out there seems to relentlessly chant: Cindy, Cindy, Cindy.

Meanwhile, evil tyrants are destroying nations, leaving millions are homeless and starving to death and through it all, little children caught in the crossfire are dying for someplace to call home.

I sometimes feel as if I have come from a different planet---and then I consider that the LORD teaches that we are a peculiar people... a couple of Scriptures come to mind:  Titus 2.14 "Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works."  And,  1Peter 2.9 "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light."

What did she mean, " I will take no prisoners."  What does that mean, anyway?

 

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In what's become sort of a daily pastime, we look at the different websites associated with Liberia and Liberian orphanages---and a seeming gazillion names of locations and diseases and needs in Africa.  It's dizzying---the unfathomable needs represented there.  So all the searching --- It's sort of getting like conducting a web-search after hearing about an illness or a needed medical procedure. You begin to just read *too* much as you gather all sorts of conflicting information which on the one hand gives you relief, and on the other, immense fear.  And so it goes.   

I have been looking over the materials Wes has been receiving from the orphanage in Liberia and decided that someday I was going to want to look back on the  suggested as precautionary measures and then I thought we'd compare what was suggested and what actually happened.  Some information automatically was dismissed---I mean, while useful for some, I'm not thinking Wes would worry about the duties he'd have to pay on things such as tobacco products and alcoholic beverages---I mean, he's not going to be buying that much.  Levity---levity, I am kidding.  Now, the perfume––  that's Biblical: Proverbs 27.9 "Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart..."  Okay, so seriously now, he's not going there for any of that---just to help our friend and perhaps to help at the orphanage if there is a need that can be addressed in the very short time they're there.  Some of the precautionary measures have been repeated oft enough that he's feeling comfortable about the plans.  He is trusting in the LORD who has guided every step of the way.

Indulge me a moment; one more love letter...

comments:

Dear Pamela, Thank you for sharing about the children in Liberia. My son Stephen and I opened the website of acresofhope. We are so blessed and encouraged for those people that work and adopted with those orphans. As a mother my heart is aching and wish I can adopt all of them. But the Lord knows... I will be praying that God will prepare a Godly home for them. I was born in a poor country (Philippines) so I know how it feels... Pamela, May our sweet Lord will richly bless you for you are such an encouragement to me. Thank you once again for giving me information about the Children in Liberia. I will try to contact their staff. God bless you and your family. Love, Zel Rupp South Carolina P.S. I will be praying for Mr. Wes too, as he travel! from Stephen4@baptistmail.com

August 23, 2005     There are such astonishing physical, emotional and Spiritual needs all over the world... O, how the world needs the LORD---this angry, lost world so needs Jesus.  Such poverty---physically and spiritually.  The need for food, for shelter and clothing, for medicine and healthcare---and, for parents is incredible---I'm just learning of the staggering amount and enormous areas of need.  Orphans need parents---they need a mother and a daddy, a home and a family---they need and long for what's still referred to by society as, "the traditional family."  They need what we all need---trouble is, most will die before the dream of living in a loving family is realized.  Friends sent a link to another site that is helping with the daunting task of caring for children in Liberia.

The days are passing quickly as Wes looks forward to going with our friend to pick up their children in Liberia.  I marvel at the courage being demonstrated by our friends who are adopting the two little boys from Liberia.  As we stood in their dining room last night, looking over the suitcases that are being filled with items to leave in Liberia, we were sort of amused at the contents.  Not because of what was being gathered but we stood there considering that we were talking over---the four suitcases will be left there in Liberia---they're being filled with items that we think they'll need based on lists that have been sent.  As we drove home, we marveled... it sort of feels like a fishes and loaves sort of deal---with us asking the LORD to multiply the benefit of the items that will be taken there.  Now, two suitcases sit on our family room floor---now partially filled with cotton clothing for children, items needed by the orphanage, and waiting for more items to be added tomorrow.  Each day will find us gathering and preparing as the day of departure draws near. 

Another friend just stopped by this evening to bring more 'goodies' for the orphanage in Liberia.  Medical supplies, formula and sweet little cotton clothes for young children and babies---I think the bags are going to be filled to the 70 pound limit!

 

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And life seems to keep being filled with marvelous coincidences ---a co-incident is when the Vertical meets the horizontal... when the LORD chooses to allow us to see His Hand in an unusual way. 

I was racing to get to a store the other afternoon, thinking that I had a little less time than I did, I hurried in to the store and noticed the sign said cash and checks only.  So, I phoned Wes on his cell and asked where he was... that the store only... blah, blah, blah... and so he replied, "Why don't I just come inside."  There he was parked right outside.  He hadn't known that I'd planned on being there, nod had he planned on going back to that store---but he had purchased pens earlier in the day and they didn't work so he was stopping back by to return them.  Upon pulling in, he said he thought, hey, I know that van.  I just smiled... I knew the LORD was right there with us.

Timothy had written to ask me to send some things down to him---in another sweet twist of irony, one of the guests that will be staying on the boat this week just happens to live nearby.  Seems that last year when Timothy was talking to him, it was brought up early on where the man lived and it just so happened to be about a mile away from us.  I just chuckled as Timothy related that to me.  So I intend to bake him some chocolate chip cookies to send along with his things.  I was tempted to make up and send down some horchatta---for those who do not know, Timothy drinks this thick sweet rice water when he's home.  I can hardly drink it---bleck.  I also don't like the cucumber water all that much, either.  But to humor him, I do drink both.  Just to spend some time with him, I'd drink a quart of it tomorrow if he were home!

August 23, 2005    Every year there seem to be news stories that sort of characterize the year; catch-phrases that encapsulate the stories and jog our memories when we hear them.  I never hear: "I'm in control," or "I'm in control here," or something close to that, that I don't think of Alexander Haig in 1981 at a press meeting after President Reagan was shot.   I remember hearing that and thinking at the time---uh-oh... that was a colossal blunder.   So, this year, we might hear the phrase, "why did you kill my son?" and remember the mom who---perhaps in the beginning--- sought answers and relief regarding the in-service death of her son.

More on the now famous, Cindy Sheehan

Whaddya think Casey Sheehan would be saying to his mama were he able to speak to her?  Do you think he really might say something like, mama, please go on home.  I went to Iraq because it was my duty and honor to do so---I didn't die in vain or as you say, "for nothing."  Do you think that perhaps Casey Sheehan would be one of the first to say that there really is a problem in the middle east and that there really is a terrorist threat to the US and our allies.  I think he would.  I think, further, that he'd want to tell  her that it wasn't George Bush but terrorists who killed him in the line of duty.  Additionally, I think he'd whisper---mother, please, watch your language.

Hear it long enough, you've got to be careful to not be sucked into the rhetoric and the cool lines being bandied about.  Hear it long enough, you might even be persuaded to lend your ear and possibly validate what she's saying.  But then you step back and you say, wait a minute---you're using faulty logic here.

If President Bush does agree to talk to Ms. Sheehan, it'll surely be a lose, lose situation.  It'll be like attempting to talk with an agitated person who's swinging around a loaded gun.  I was thinking about her camping out at the ranch and all the naysayer's mocking him for being at the ranch.  Probably the same folks who aggressively defend their right to vacation time or pay raises and affably agree to wait four months to see the over booked dentist or doctor for a check-up.  Only a callous brute would not want to talk to a grieving mother after all.  But this isn't about just anyone and this mother's shifting plan is not about her grief over the loss of her son––this is bigger than that.  But this, to me, goes beyond the pale of propriety.   Her desire to see the President to ask him one question, "why did you kill my son," is a strange thing––presupposes that he killed her son.  It's pretty foolish to believe that that's all she wants... that after the President hears and replies to her question, everyone would just pack up the tents and take down the signs and peacefully go home.  It wouldn't surprise me, especially after reading accounts (by her) and her use of vulgar speech, that she would not only ask him the question, but then spit in his face regardless of how he answers the question. 

 

Randoms...

In answer to the move on dot org people, and perhaps to the Huffington site which hosts Cindy Sheehan lately, there is a website, Move America Forward, that tells another side --- stories that perhaps don't get told in the mainstream media.  I guess I picture it this way...    if people where to set up a site to talk about the great things that are going on and stand out to gain support, it wouldn't really capture anything but the local news people.  They'd likely run a brief piece and that would be that.  It's not sensational---it doesn't sell papers and doesn't run up the web stats.  But... get a thing going that's in opposition to the President, the "Bushies" or the "Righties" and the media swarms like bees.  It's really phenomenal.

Unless you're pretty careful, it might seem sometimes like everyone is leaning a particular direction and that *no one* is thinking about things the way you do.  It's always interesting to me in recent years of feminism, gender neutrality, diversity,  inclusivity and sensitivity training and all that that we're told be celebrate diversity and yet the moment someone happens to mention something like boundaries or moral absolutes, suddenly it's anathema to share the platform.

More randoms...

One cool thing about the web is the ability for just about anyone to stake a site, set up shop and operate in just about any venue within a matter of minutes.  Those with a few dollars, a couple of good ideas and some  web design expertise can even make it look like a professional or reputable establishment.  I share this because of the proliferation---the enormity of the web now as compared to a couple of years ago.

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August 22, 2005   I received this from Glenys over the mail this morning.  Too funny:
 

 

August 22, 2005  So this week's underway.  Whatever I was going to write sort of fluttered away when I was perusing the mail and saw some of the comments that had come my way.  This is one...

comments:

Before you think to criticize any of the MANY mother's and father's who are down in Crawford, you should think about what it would be like to send one of yours. You have what, eleven? My best friend will be into a third tour, and while everyone totes their flag, I don't see them jumping in and making equal sacrifice, so that he can come home to his wife and son.

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August 21, 2005    Many things are swirling through my mind these days, especially as Wes's trip to Liberia nears. Also.. The Notebook lingers––hence, the picture and song lyrics above.  The pic below was taken last Sunday at Kayak Point.  It was a beautiful day there.  Daddy took lots of pics but I especially liked this one... perhaps because I have so many pics over the years of different "sets" of our children who've posed for him on the driftwood.  The faces change, the driftwood changes, but somehow, the memories are sort of like the same ones repeated over and over.  Over the years, Kayak Point has been the setting for family celebrations––birthdays, holidays, engagements and retirements.  It seems that every year has brought enough change in the family that no celebration has been quite the same.   One thing's for sure... every year, the children love playing in the water and love to gather treasures from the sea!  I wonder... over the years, how much of Kayak beach–sand, rocks, shells and driftwood has come home with us in pockets, cuffs, shoes, towels and bags in the van.  The replaced washing machines tell me: a lot!

andrew, dolly and naomi at kayak
 

August 20, 2005

Today's been a relatively quiet day here at home – the way I'd like most days to go.  Contrary to appearances, I really prefer quiet and solitude.  I chuckle that the LORD had different plans for my life.  Seven sons has meant less quiet, and four daughters has meant less solitude.  Because I trust the LORD implicitly, and I see a bit more of His perfect and marvelous design, I see them all as the fulfillment of the truest desires of my heart, yet, while my flesh desires the quiet and solitude, I see that the desire of my heart has, in part, been met in and through them.   Without them, I would always know I was missing the joy that each one of them, uniquely and in particular, have brought me.

In local news, gaining popularity and notoriety, is Freedom Fest 2005.   Though it's difficult to see the propriety of "hard rock" in Christianity, that's what some of the groups are spreading.  The message is supposedly Christian---but the music might make one wonder.  Typically, when someone brings up the music vs. the message issue, there are strong feelings and lots of animosity between the different crowds.  While I really like lively music, there's always a point where I depart from "mainstream" followers.  I feel this way regarding popular attire for women and lots of other things, I suppose.  I imagine in different people's eyes, there are fine lines dividing the appropriate and inappropriate –– whether one is speaking of dress or music or activities or whatever else.  As people in general, we tend to be adverse to bright lines painted on concrete.  It's probably the finite of absolutes.  We all tend to want "our" freedom.  We tend to like a little leeway for ourselves and for different circumstances.  Without margin, we might tend to feel boxed in –– limited in our endeavors.  So, we then tend to draw lines in more convenient places---like sand.  Only problem is, the when the next wave comes in, we are left to redraw the line and we often can't find the original starting point. When lines are drawn in the sand, the impermanence gives us feeling of control---but lines washed away often enough really demonstrates to us how out of control that sort of living really is.  Just consider driving down the highway or even a neighborhood street with no sidelines and no center lines; we think we want the freedom of the open road---but consider driving on the highway with no lane dividers and no center line or median.  Okay---so, I don't know where I was going with that one, but there was something I was trying to communicate.  Ah... worldly rock 'Christian' music... that was it.

I wrote the above much earlier in the day but didn't publish.  Tonight I could easily hear the music and and messages of the speakers at the Freedom Fest.

 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them,
I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew,
and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not,
shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew,
and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.

Matthew 7.24-27

And so life goes on...

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comments:	Pamela, I will be praying for everyone's safety on this trip, a good outcome too, and for you- I know I would miss Chris terribly so I imagine you will miss Wes. My advice is to keep busy!! LOL But then, every day is busy isn't it? And don't read The Wedding until he gets home! LOL Love Glenys
	I'm too curious!  When Kathryn saw that women were recommending The Wedding, she went to the Library in town and picked it up for me!  I have been very teary as it is----the book is only making my heart fonder as the days go by!

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August 18, 2005    I went to work yesterday!  ;-)  Yes, yesterday was "take your wife to work day!"  I was reminded again how much fun it is to spend the day with Wes and why every single day he is asked whose turn it is to go to work today!?!?  I am hoping to get a few more of these days in the next week.  His pools were quite a drive south and we made several stops---I'd forgotten how much I love to see the pools he works on.   I'm sure he was glad to take me along to utilize the HOV lane. Seattle to Olympia is sort of like a giant long parking lot.  Well, anyway, I'd forgotten how much fun it is to hand him the tools and see if I can correctly anticipate which tool he'll ask for next.  I'd forgotten the intense thrill of the mounting anxiety watching the pressure gauge as the whole system is tested... but also forgotten, was how he so dislikes diving to locate leaks in pools.  I'd forgotten the fun of meeting the customers I only speak to on the phone and trying to quell their astonishment, when meeting me in person, at the number of children "the pool guy" has and how in the world do we manage.  They always seem to glaze over when I tell them it's all the LORD.  I always wonder what they're saying as we wave to them from the truck as we drive away from their homes.

I smiled at one of his customers who stopped by a couple of days ago to complete the paperwork for her pool.  Our children were all playing outside––some swimming, some riding bikes, and she asked if those were all our grandchildren.     Yooo-hooo... Miss Clairol, where are you??

See why I wonder what the people say when we drive away?

So, after a couple of stops, Wes took me out to lunch (I told him he is  soooo romantic!) to Jack-in-the-Box and we had a delicious Ciabatta sandwich.  I was a bit reluctant to go to lunch---because I really do want to be careful---but I really was very hungry, and we were in a pretty remote place––so, I told him I'd just started a diet in the morning.  Well, I had half a Ciabatta sandwich and I told him I think this diet's going to work out pretty well – if the tasty lunch was an indicator.  Hours later, we stopped by Dairy Queen to use the facilities---which are not free---one must purchase something in order to use the facilities.  No... no, there was no sign indicating this, but it's sort of an unspoken thing, you know.  So, after a small Butterfinger Blizzard and more pool stops to make, I decided that the diet was a pretty scrumptious one!  It was a long, fun day.   O, and that was a one-day diet, too. 

Well... he didn't invite me to go to work today––but he didn't go out to lunch, either.  Besides, I'm on a diet.  Really... Jack's not my friend––a fun date, but not my friend.

And so life goes on...

Well, as I began to share a couple of days ago, we've been having some very  busy days around here. Busy and exciting––but not quite the excitement we usually experience.  Excitement around here usually sounds like, "Hey, I lost another tooth!" or, "Maawwwmmm, the toilet's going to overfloat!"  (I love that one!) or things like that. No, the excitement lately hasn't been quite like those things or even other exciting things like a mouse running across the kitchen floor or a new book or ta-dah, a Gaither video coming in the mail or new ropes in the tree fort or riding "look, Ma, no hands" on the new bike down the lane or catching a bunch of snakes in a zip-lock bag... no, no... not that sort of excitement. 

The sort of excitement I'm talking about is the sort that started out something like this:  "Where was my mother born?"  Kansas. "Okay, thanks... where was my father born?"  Sedro-Woolley, on Reed Street---why do you need to know where your mother and father were born?  "Honey, I'm thinking of going to Liberia with Troy to pick up the boys.  There's been sort of an opening in the window of opportunity to pick them up."  Oh... okay, I say calmly as if to have just replied to his comment that he was going with Troy to pick up six gallons of milk on his way home and would that be okay.   I asked when this opportunity would come about and he smiled... "next week."   So there Wes was filling our papers, making calls and setting appointments to get his expedited passport... oh, and a yellow fever shot and the visa and other travel documents he needed.  Oh, and to set up an appointment to see a local doc to get some advice about Liberia and some prescriptions for meds the health department is suggesting.  All this happened, it seems, over night... well, over a span of a few days, anyway.

Our friends are adopting two little boys from an orphanage in Liberia and because of political uncertainties and difficulties that might arise, the timing to go get the children was sort of up in the air.  Their adoption was already complete, but the logistics of the paperwork and timing was really up in the air.  Our friends have had many obstacles to overcome and hurdles to pass, but in the LORD's mercy and timing, these have all been met---it seems that each day has held another surprise, another piece of the puzzle.  Each document that has had to be obtained and filed with the various agencies has been processed very quickly.  The expedited documents also have been processed and received in an unusually short amount of time.  So that's where the story stood a couple of nights ago when I opened my mail to see Wes's travel itinerary.  So, now, he bought his plane ticket, got another shot and had his prescriptions filled this morning.  He called from Costco to ask me to prepare his salad for lunch and he came home and enjoyed that along with the first of six malaria tablets and a tall glass of water.  (Ah... see the difference between the take-your-wife-to-work-day-diet and the real daily diet?!)

Thousands of children are dying every single day... a plight most of us never knew existed and never really grasped.  A plight that never affected us, nor tapped our consciousness.  It's really something when you go along, minding your own business, wringing and hanging out your own clothes on the line, making your shopp0ign list and pushing your own cart, wiping the noses and diapering the bottoms of your own children, trying to squeeze one last use out of the tube of toothpaste, hoping to get to the sale before all the items are gone... you know... just going along.  Then the truth of the plight of people around the world assaults your dimmed senses.  People are dying-----------you can't just hear about that and go on.  You can't just resume daily living and make-believe that everyone's lives are essentially the same––because they're not––they're not the same at all.

I've been asked if it's hard to have Wes go to Liberia----and I say, no.  You know, it's not hard at all because it's just what I'd want someone to do for me.  The LORD redeemed me and saved my soul from Hell.  Hell is very real---hundreds of thousands go there every day.  All I know is that now, two are being spared––so far as we can see––the ravages of poverty.    So... yes, he's going and I'm happy for the opportunity he has.  All my life has prepared me for things like this.  I always longed to know that someone would fight for me.  That someone would do whatever it takes to save me–to help me.  So, this shows me that someone would... but then, I've always known he would.

And so life goes on...

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comments:

Pamela I was just wondering if you and Wes are adopting or is he going over to help?? Would love to hear if you have a moment. Thanks so much.    Blessings, Robin

Thank you for writing, Robin!   Well, no... we aren't adopting.  Wes is going over purely as a brother in Christ to help escort the children to their new home.  We have never before considered adopting children––never.  However, through this whole thing, it is very interesting how the LORD works––and He does work in mysterious ways.  Year after year of most all of our marriage I have either been pregnant or nursing a child.  There was never a moment's consideration of adoption.  I keep wondering how being there will affect Wes.  Knowing him, he will be heartbroken to have to leave children behind---their faces etched in his memory forever.   I think he sure wouldn't mind helping others get their children home in the future. This gives new meaning to: escort service. Especially after getting all the paperwork and shots, etc---and after the trip, he'd be much better equipped to do such a thing.  This is just the sort of thing Wes does best---I've always think he's sort of a resource/support person for people---he seems to me to be for others what a Doula is for new mothers!  So, he's a Do-ler.  So, he and Troy are not going over to help per se, as they will only be there a short time and turn right around to return home.  He is there to assist Troy and to do what he can to make things easier bringing the boys home.  Our friends are really taking on a tremendous adventure as the enlarge the circle of their family in this way---and we stand with them.

 

August 16, 2005     Sometimes things happen at such a fast clip around here that I imagine if I blink I might miss something.  Ah, so, never a dull moment---well, not dull to us, anyway.   Another movie clouds my thinking today---all day.  Another in the list of films I'm sure glad to have seen.  Another message I'm sure glad I grasped and hope I never forget...  for many years, my husband has said to me: in the end... it's just us.  Inundated with peanut-butter and jelly, noise and oatmeal, missing socks and bath-times, laundry and stories, sandy feet and runny noses, crayons and playdoh, I couldn't grasp that reality early on.  I couldn't really grasp it later on, either.  Only recently am I able to grasp a bit more of what that means: "in the end... it's just us."     Perhaps it's because there are fewer sandy feet, runny noses, crayons...

Kathryn and Hannah recommended that we see the movie, The Notebook, and so we watched it last night.  Wes was away at his Bible study for part of the evening and after the children's dinner and evening activities,  I ironed his shirts as the movie played... I watched their sweet story unfold, or, rather, be retold.  It was simultaneous portrayal of two love stories dramatically different and yet essentially and literally the same as the husband reads their life story from his notebook.  The movie poignantly illustrates the passion and devotion the husband has for his wife as he reads the story of their love and their life from the beginning---hence, The Notebook ---a story she  hears, listening with eager anticipation as if viewing it for the first time but always appears to love it as if she recognizes deep down that it's her own.  The story is her own---but it's locked up in her mind where even she cannot reach it. 

[ I must interject here that we did see the movie here in our home, it is rated PG13 and for good reason... we did fast-forward through a couple of scenes and so my "endorsement" here is not a blanket endorsement of all the scenes in the movie.  My endorsement is for the message of the movie---the enduring, loyal and dedicated love of a husband for his wife.  In this day of counterfeits, casual commitments, selfish ambitions and temporary allegiances, this movie counters all those behaviours with unwavering persistence and loyal devotion. ]

Wes missed the first portion of the movie but stood with me as we watched the last third or so.  The performance by James Garner and Gena Rowlands, was perfect---just perfect.  I suppose at times, I was seeing Wes as an adventurous and passionate young man and as a thoughtful dependable husband through the years---and perhaps I imagined that that's where his devotion might end up some day.  He is much his former self but steadier now.  Through our tears,  I don't know if we were seeing ourselves now or seeing ourselves then or seeing ourselves in the future... perhaps it was a little of all three as we watched the movie come to a close. 

Hardly able to see through tears, I cried for the portrayal of two lives inextricably woven together, what was being remembered and how it was retold, what was lost, what they'd earned as lifelong companions and what even their children couldn't see.  As I stood sobbing in the arms of my strong husband, I realized more than ever that he is my story and he's the only one that could tell mine.   His eyes were filled with tears, too, as he imagined what our own life might be like.   He really is the stronger of the two of us.  His resolve is greater and his loyalty is intense.  He doesn't flinch at trials or discourage easily.  He is my strong confidence and my strong defender.  His qualities are gifts and are the backbone of our marriage...  A blessing I pray each of the children will have in their lives---but it won't be easy, it won't be without great cost and it probably won't be obvious for a time.

 

I realized that part of the legacy we will leave our children will not be something they can describe or perhaps even comprehend---but I think they'll know.  What we will leave them cannot be bought or feigned, what we will leave them is something they'll likely not understand or even cherish right away----or, perhaps ever.  But somehow, because they are so much of the story, I trust the LORD to show them.   What might sound like an arrogant statement to an immature ear is that there is nothing like old love and it's as much about the quality as the length.  It's as much about the why as the how.   I so wish I could share the great value and blessing of long marriage.  It's as much about the LORD as it is one another.  It's really all His story lived out by two people---in time, they become a glimpse of who He is.  O, that's so what I want to share and pass on to our children.  Old love grows... old rings fortified and encircled by the new rings the passing years present.  Even though some of the new rings might seem rougher, they, too, will eventually smooth out as they become more deeply embedded in the circle of shared experiences.  I so wish I could convey this to our children who might tend to esteem so lightly what it takes to grow a great tall tree and why they can trust in the integrity of the wood as they walk a plank.

We wiped our tears, hugged some more, wiped our runny noses and agreed it was a good film.  We didn't like the ending---not so much because of the ending itself, but the subtle message given.  Even still, it was charming --- endearing and charming and I'd recommend The Notebook.

comments:

Hello again, Pamela We've just returned home from seeing "The Island". What can I say? Very feasible, I have no doubt and neither does my family that these kind of 'transactions' occur! My daughter asked "mamma, do you think they are flooding us with the idea of cloning/ robots so that we will 'learn to love' them, and think of them as endearing, that they are the 'good guys' or that they want us to get used to them so that they can introduce them into our lives?" "Probably both", I replied. Again, I thought of the Dean Koontz novels. Seems so fictitious that it could be real. May we all have 'eyes to see and ears to hear'.... Love Helen

 

I don't know if all this emotion is heightened by all that's going on around here... but a story for another day begins like this:  After watching The Notebook, Wes went up to his office to take care of a few things before bed; I went out the the sunroom to my computer, wrote for a little while (the now so inane seeming entry below), checked email and received Wes's itinerary for his trip to Monrovia, Liberia next week.  In the frenetic pace of gathering official documents, shots and doctor's certificates, the fact that this would all involve Wes actually going away sort of got lost in the events of late. 

I love him and everything that concerns him.  The Notebook sort of brought it all back to the forefront.  And his itinerary keeps it there.

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August 16, 2005      If it weren't so bizarre and were her situation not so tragic, it would almost be comical---but her conclusions are too pitiful to be humorous.  And if the reports are accurate, it seems the President isn't the only man who doesn't want to talk to her.  Now, not only has she lost a son, but is in the process of losing her marriage as well.  It's a sorry situation all the way around.

The, reading Cindy Sheehan's latest entry was almost surreal, except that it is real in her eyes and she's convincing many more.    She's determined to remain at "Camp Casey" till the end of the month, protesting and demanding a[nother] meeting with President Bush.  As each day passes, it seems she's got more to say to him---and though she makes audacious statements against this country, it's people like her late son who make this freedom possible.    So she's angry and she's got a well outfitted and supportive group (read: media) behind her.   I'm thinking the President ought to just talk to her again before another war is started---maybe whisper his condolences or give her another kiss!   She commented that "...one of our neighbors fired off a shot gun. He said he was shooting at birds, but he is tired of us being there and he wants us to leave. I didn't get to talk to him, but I told the media that if he wanted us to leave so badly, why doesn't he tell his other neighbor, George, to talk to me. We are good neighbors..."  Now, I'm not advocating the shotgun incident, but she is hardly a good neighbor and surely not that taxpayer's neighbor.  That was one of a number of ridiculous statements --- I cannot imagine what else she's saying or what else is being reported by the media.  I'm exercising great restraint to not listen to more on the radio about all this or read much else in the news.  Amazingly, she is exercising great freedom---and that's why this country was founded.  But to listen to her, it's as if her disdain for a few things has totally misguided her thinking for the whole.  I guess I still believe the military is noble, that the efforts are honourable and I'm grateful for the privilege to live in the USA.

It is very simple to see how, with comments such as the ones she's making, she's gathered what's become a grassroots organization of supporters,  fired up by the well oiled machine called the media.  She, of her own volition, is camped out there and yet likens it to how Mickey Mouse feels at Disneyland.   Yes... I suppose I see similarities there, but it's doubtful she draws the same conclusions I have here. The costumed worker posing as Mickey Mouse is (voluntarily) employed to play that role and part of that work is involves entertaining people.   Her son was employed by the United States military and he must've been a competent individual to achieve what he did.  She is incredulous that President Bush would take a bike-ride but not talk to her; furious that he could get on with his life while she cannot get on with hers.   So she plans to stay the course... finish her mission... and will "take no prisoners."  Drama.  The media's darling and latest trophy.

 

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August 15, 2005     Ahhhhh, the historic events occurring around the world.   Last month, in the wake of hurricanes, judicial decisions, record breaking book sales of another satanic work, and the continued war on terror, I wrote: watch Israel.  Now as the world watches Israel, the world is witnessing an incredible historic event.

It's uncanny the clout garnered by the mom whose son was killed in Iraq 16 months ago.  She's being hailed as a credible source of political power, though not heretofore a celebrity or a politician or even a war-protestor.    I've read with some interest and some dismay the accounts of Cindy Sheehan's protest outside the President's ranch.   It's causing quite a stir around the world as she gains momentum and notoriety----and as the scope of her criticism broadens.    Misery loves company and company she's getting!  I'm thinking the President is in a lose-lose situation over this one and his trigger-happy neighbour probably ought to just go on vacation to the coast until all this blows over---or he just might boil over!   His outrage might just lead to a killing he could never claim is self defense.   From previous accounts, Mrs. Sheehan's behaviour seems to have changed 180º from the grieving mother of over a year ago to the grieving mother turned aggressive war-protestor today.   Yet, she's in a very unique position---sort of untouchable, really, for to insult her would be an affront to other mothers who grieve the loss of sons who died in the line of duty.  But to dismiss her actions or behaviour and attribute them to the grieving process would equally be an affront to other grieving mothers---because mothers of fallen or maimed soldiers do not automatically become radicals. 

The latest reminds me of an irrational mother on a pms-tirade scolding her family for a litany of offenses --- set off by a truly legitimate hurt, no doubt, but then escalating into a hostile  reprimand that they're living like careless animals, that she's the only one suffering, that they couldn't care less about anything, and why is it always her stuff they break(!?!) and further that they are even making bad grades in school and everyone knows it and they have terrible manners and bad haircuts and the neighbor's children are dreadful ---that she's not a maid and they don't live in a barn and she never deserved this.  And for all that, she's not going to clean the house anymore and is never going to do the shopping, either.  So, there.  And... she's not coming out of the bathroom until they win the lottery.  So, there.  Then... to top it all off, a bunch of sympathizers come in to legitimize her audacious claims and add fuel to her fury by validating her bold claims.  If she's not placated, she'll just hand off the baton to another runner who'll carry her case further down the road.

That she is grieving and hurting the deepest hurt, there is no doubt.  That she's being reasonable and has a legitimate case might have been reasonable in the beginning, but now... now that she's diverted her original complaint and has gone off on a tangent, one that even included directives for Israel, her case is dubious.  This has gotten so unwieldy that the credibility of the original plea now stands in question.    I feel sorry for her---I really do.  I'm sorry for her that her son died; I'm sorry for her loss and I see the pain and grief in her eyes.  But, truly, all that she's doing is worsening her situation.  I so wish she had people coming alongside her---listening to her and comforting her all these months.  Perhaps people have tried.  I've been asking myself how I would handle a war-related death of one of my sons.  How would I deal with that loss?  Would I handle that loss differently?   I hope so.  By God's grace, I hope so.

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I sure love my boys... all of them, and for so many reasons.   When I am not with them, I miss them so much---and so many things remind me of them.  They're funny---and fun to be with.  We laugh a lot and have lots of memories that make us smile.  My Sam is too charming and shares with me some of the funniest pics, articles and clips----a master of one-liners, he has us in stitches so often.  

Here's one of the latest clips he sent me.  It's tacky political humor.  Hmmm. Political humor... no oxymoron there.   I'm thinking Timothy would love this one, too.  It's clips like these I'm reticent to share on the blog---even when I get a "hey, blog that, ma!" from one of them.
 

Sam just asked if he could walk to the store to get some milk.  I told him, walk to the garage.  He, too tired to walk to the garage, asked Stephen to check and see if there's milk in the garage fridge.   Boy... some stuff is just too important to exclude from blogs. 

You gotta get up pretty early in the morning to catch the significant things...  yeah, I know... I'm really rummaging...

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I don't usually post the 'feedback' letters because they're just personal communication, but I am posting this one because of the great encouragement I think it might be to others who are going through trials.  This sister in the LORD has really gone through some serious difficulties and yet, obviously remains joyful in trials and is growing in grace with the LORD.  I share this for those who struggle and perhaps need encouragement to just press on doing whatever the LORD specifically shows you and to be joyful and content where you are and where He's taking you.

comments:

"...I feel very encouraged to keep on keeping on in many areas when I visit your blog/site: homemaking, dressing in a modest and feminine way, submitting to my husband (working on this one) and being confident to "stand alone" on many issues, and serving the Lord by trying to brighten the corner where I am. Today I'm looking after a boy who smashed his toe yesterday, and getting ready to go visit my inlaws at camp for the afternoon. I have a grandmother just moved in to a retirement home, who I am visiting, and trying to help settle in, and a busy husband who works full time, is the treasurer for a local camp, is going to be teaching a night course at a local college.... There is so much to be done, but I am so thankful for all I can do. Once in a while I get an out-of-work friend to help dig us out with cleaning, and in the meantime, my boys and I do most of it. They're getting to be good little moppers. (-: So..., do you remember me? I'm the lady who was in bed for many months last summer, who emailed you about how to dress femininely while in bed so much. One year ago (the 13th) was my second operation. It turns out it wasn't done properly but I have decided to not have further surgery, and just be thankful for the health the LORD has given me. With help from my two strong boys I can hang laundry, do dishes, go for walks, and be fairly normal, with some limitations. So I just praise the Lord for all I can do, and try not to worry about what I can't do. (someone needs to remind me of this when I get discouraged one of these days!(-:) So be encouraged yourself today and God bless you and your family, for the blessing you have been to me! (ps my boys like to see your guys doing various things; the bathroom reno was especially exciting!) So God bless you all today. Jill"

 

August 13, 2005

You know... I'm thinking I really ought to be careful when I say or think something like: "When things settle down..." or, "Whew, now that that's done, we can have a quiet week."  I've even had the temerity to say something like, "I'll be glad when things get back to normal."  Sounds like a book title.  Ah, but I digress.   So, when things get back to normal---which I don't believe I'd even recognize anyway---unless our ordinary days are normal days, I guess I'll be simply wishing for a quiet day with no appointments, no busyness.  And on that day, I'll probably wish everyone would just come home and make a little noise.  Our friends have a sticker in the back window of their fifteen passenger van that reads:  These are the good old days.

Kathryn's friends all went on a hike while at the music camp in Oregon

I wanted to relate a story that occurred while we were on vacation at the Oregon Coast a couple of weeks ago. 

Well, so, we all searched high and low for the little device and couldn't find it.   We suggested that he return to the same location to see if it had fallen out where he'd parked the van... but that thought was probably laughable to him!  On the last day of our shortened stay, I thoroughly cleaned the beach house we were renting and as I cleaned and vacuumed, I prayed we'd locate it... but we didn't.  This was such a discouragement to Daniel, who, by this time very much needed to access the system to complete some work projects.  As we left the coast to head home, we drove on and Daniel and Tara were packing their suburban and loading up the children and Tara thought Daniel ought to take one last look before heading further north and so, at dusk, they returned to the location he'd been a few days earlier and to his utter amazement, there in the median was the little card... all scuffed up on one side from being kicked around but the code side had no damage to it at all.  We talked by cell phone just after it was found and I couldn't help saying over and over that the LORD was looking after him and was wanting to demonstrate His awesome power.  I told Daniel that the LORD takes good care of His stuff and obviously the LORD wanted to have a little connection with him.  I considered it to be a real miracle for him.

(I know, I know... our older boys love it when I remind them of those things.  In fact, I imagine they'd think I was ill were I to miss an opportunity to make a Spiritual application for the things that occur in our lives or theirs!)

  

Daddy and his baby dolly on a foggy Arch Cape morning.

 

It's ironic, really, browsing the news and editorials. Depending on which car you hop in, you're going to be taken for a ride and you might even think you're getting an accurate spin, but of the two basic options in the news, the vehicles are essentially going in opposite directions.  Were you to go over to Arianna Huffington's site, you'd read a slew of articles concerning the hot news item of this week---even articles by the woman at the center of the current storm: Cindy Sheehan (the mother of the soldier killed in Iraq) who is protesting outside President Bush's home in Crawford Texas.  In addition to those posts on Arianna's site, there's a host of "amen corner" posts.   Then, by contrast, were you to read articles on Worldnet Daily or Worldmag.com, or a post on The Drudge Report, you'd think you were riding around on a different planet.  One thing's for certain, the soldiers fighting in Iraq are fighting for the freedom of those in this nation and around the world---and it is that very freedom that allows  the protest or praise of the war or most any other thing by this nation's citizenry.  The freedoms the citizens of this nation have aren't dependent on how they're expressed.
 

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August 11-12, 2005    It's time once again to do some favorable mentions of sites and books and blogs I love.  This is a limited grouping and by no means exhaustive!   

I just received a postcard from our friends at Hope Chest Legacy, announcing a special sale from now until September 30, 2005.   I have commented on their original book:  The Hope Chest: A Legacy of Love  and I cannot recommend it highly enough.  It is a treasure to me, for it was instrumental in our home for clearer direction and refreshment for the "advanced" training of our daughters.  

Throughout our daughter's childhood, the Scripture verse that was an anchor to me was Proverbs 31.12.  Continually, through the years, the portion of the verse: "...all the days of her life." has been profound to me as I could see that every single day, every single experience or activity would either contribute and fortify or it would detract and tear down the virtues we sought to instill. Amazingly, and at just the precise moment, we received our copy of The Hope Chest and it sort of revitalized and revolutionized our training or the guiding of our daughters.    I've often said that every home should have a well worn copy of this book.

And then I just received a letter from Laurie regarding Future Christian Homemakers and a book she and her husband have reprinted Classic Prayers for Children.  And she offers different great things on her site as well.  I suggest the book of prayers both for its practical value and also for its historical value.  I think the old books have much to offer... not antiquity, but the simplicity and wisdom of days gone by.

Also... and, sincerely, this is not meant for self-promotion (though I will be contributing articles  ;o)  to the magazine!), there is a new publication coming out very soon called: Making It Home magazine.   This, from the website: "Making It Home will be like the magazines from the late 1800s to early 1900s...full of content and not ads. We have some very beautiful Titus 2 ladies and some men writers as well on board who have written from their hearts. It is very much like a personal letter written to you sharing experience and knowledge and passing it on."  
I am recommending this publications as I do others, such as, Above Rubies and Crowned with Silver because it is so imperative that women grasp the great and precious gift of motherhood and homemaking.

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August 10, 2005  Another trip to SeaTac... another "good-bye" for now to Timothy.  He had a very early flight (after an extremely short night's sleep!)  to California this morning to begin three months of work again as "first mate" on the boat of his great aunt.  So, there we were... Wes, Timothy and me... running on very little sleep as we made our  way south to the airport,  leaving behind a couple of children sadly waving goodbye from the kitchen window and several others in their beds ---their sleep only slightly disrupted by Timothy's hugs to each one as he prepared to leave.   

My step-father has an aunt who enjoys having Timothy work for her as her "first mate" on the boat.  He IM'd right away to let us know that he made it there just fine---20 minutes ahead of schedule, in fact!  What a blessing it was to hear that ping on the computer and to be able to so quickly communicate with him.  We chatted again this evening and things are going very well for him.  He's very aware that it's a far cry from the living conditions in Mexico... and yet, he says he knows that's where his heart is.  So, he enjoys the wonderful time and lovely amenities while he's there.  He especially loves the time spent with Aunt Martha--- and with the recent passing of his great Grandpa, he's profoundly aware of the brevity of these days and is intending on enjoying them and work with her while she desires to keep the boat and travel for several days each week to Catalina.  It's a real education for him ---and he has a pretty good time studying while he's there, too.  He tries to learn as much as possible about the guests on board each week and attempts to anticipate their needs. He also looks forward to going back to see those in the church that he attended last summer there on the Island.  It's a very small church and they were extremely glad to see him each time and very sorry to see him go.  There's also, amazingly enough, a house church on the Island, too.  It should be an interesting three months.  His life there is nothing like his life at home.

And it's sad here without him.

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August 9, 2005    Today is our little Andrew's seventh birthday... and he is a very young seven.  I think he'd stay little forever if that were possible.  We've had a couple of boys who just seemed to love being little--- playing, napping, being held, being read to and sitting on the counter while I cook or clean. These boys seem to take two years to accomplish what a couple of others do in a year.  So, Andrew's much like that and I am only now seeing that being in a hurry to grow every one of 'em up the same was very unnecessary.  In many ways, he seems to be in no hurry to grow up.  And that's fine with me.  He's a blessing.

 
Andrew and dolly at Arch Cape

comments:	Happy birthday, Andrew! I hope you had your favourite cake! Blessings, Glenys

What a blessing it is to have Kathryn home again.  We picked her up at the Amtrak train station yesterday afternoon and when we got home, she played some new pieces she learned at The Booher Music Camp where she's been for the last week.  She enjoyed the unique nuances of different styles of music and learning how to play some techniques she's never played before.  She tells me that during the six hours of instruction daily she learned a lot about chord structure, pentatonic scales, tritones and common jazz and blues chord progressions. [The only keys I play are the ones under my fingertips at this moment----so... you're getting the only music I know how to play!]

Here are some pics Kathryn brought home for me to post.  I so wish you could hear the beautiful music she plays!  I missed her music so much---it is my daily delight.

      

  
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comments:	Pamela, Is Kathryn still taking her herb class? I have been trying to remember to ask about
	getting information on it. Does she still enjoy the class? Thank you for a wonderful blog. Renee

August 8, 2005      Whenever I read headlines such as, "Where is Osama?" or, "Is Osama dead?" I think of a time we were shopping at Costco and around the candy aisle, our Joseph shouted (well softly shouted), "there he is! ---- Osama bin Laden is in Costco!   We all instantly looked over to see the man in very similar garments and a white turban, made up of what looked like miles of yardage.  "Shhhhhh----Joseph," I say to him strongly and quietly---to which, Joey protested in a loud whisper, clearly and distinctly enunciating every word:  "But.  He.  Is. In.  Cost. Co. There he IS!!!!!"   And as he went on to reason that he couldn't believe people all over were looking for him when he was right there in Costco, I didn't want to make a spectacle of the situation nor draw the attention of people shopping there that night, but I knew I must hug Joey and talk to him in his ear and tell him that that really was NOT Osama bin Laden --- and to the wide eyed wonder: "O, yes, look, I see him (pointing)--- he is over there!"  I can't fully remember now what I said but I know it was something to assure him that everything was okay.  He then went on to say something like, "I can't believe everyone is looking for him and here he is: in COSTCO!"   I said, now almost laughing both from embarrassment and from amusement, "O, Joey... "   In considering that time, when I read headlines now, I wonder... was he there?  ;-)    Seems pretty incredible to not be able to trap that one.    So, the article headlines: "Where in the world is Osama bin Laden?"  I guess he was in Costco.  Buying candy.

 

Continuing on with my quest to get back to doing the things I used to do, wanted to do, thought were important, and made sense... I thought of this: Wear Sunscreen

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comments:	Pam, this is just hilarious! Aren't kids the greatest?
	I think so, too!  It's hilarious to me every time I think of it---especially considering how quiet and thoughtful Joseph is---I guess it makes it all the more amusing.

comments:

Isn't the mind of a child amazing?! My seven year old nephew told me that "warrior angels have great big golden horns and are just huge and very scary to me." As gently as possible I told him that we really don't know what angels look like, but they are one of God's special creations and nothing to be afraid of. A case against children playing too many video games of the wrong type. At least it wasn't an Osama, war type game! Your children are so blessed to have a Christian mama that knows how to handle these things. Love, Deborah Smith

O, I hope so... I have been working more and more over the years at giving the response I would like to receive in a given situation.  Sometimes things happen so quickly that I have to be very careful what I say!!  Bless you!

 

August 7, 2005

I had no idea when I began wearing the first of two rings I have been wearing for twenty eight years that this is where the LORD would bring us.  All I knew at the time was to say yes.  And if we had it to do all over again, and Wes were to ring the bell and I were to answer the door and receive  two dozen long stemmed roses and then moments later a black velvet box... I'd say yes all over again.  Even knowing now what valleys and what mountain ranges would lie ahead, even knowing the great joys, great disappointments, great victories, great failures, great losses and great gains... just to be part of what the LORD has done, I'd say yes all over again.  I would never have believed and could not have conceived in my thoughts what the LORD would do and the thought of missing eleven people calling me mama...  and three calling me grandma... only because of the LORD and one calling me, love.  I'd surely say yes all over again.

Would I have missed this? 

Not for anything.  Hannah & Samuel... a long time ago.

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August 6, 2005    Do you just shake your head when you hear seemingly intelligent individuals talking about evolution or about the "big bang" theory and endorse the theory as fact?  I often think that most scientists have been so over educated that they no longer make any sense at all when it comes to the origin of life and matter --- I liken them to people who are so open minded that it seems their brains have fallen out.     Please don't misunderstand---I am not commenting on or negating their knowledge or grasp of universal laws and there is no denying that I could not participate on any significant level or contribute to conversations two such scientists might encounter.  But it takes more imagination than I will ever possess to entertain the ludicrous notion that things just happened one day and then they evolved into such things as billions of stars filling the heavens and planets in perfect orbit or newborn babies instinctively knowing to suckle when their cheek is brushed or swallows that return to Capistrano the same day each year or or honey bees or spawning salmon or monarch butterflies with annual migration of thousands of miles... this list is as endless as the incredible functions of the brain---and the central nervous system of the human body.  Could all this just happen?

I was driving along scanning different stations and came upon a discussion in process where listeners were calling in to comment on the most recent version of the creation vs. evolution debate.    I am often amazed at people's perceptions of debate.  A caller was angrily defending "evolution" and was defensive when questioning whether the commentator was indirectly assuming that the Evolution vs. Intelligent Design argument meant that it was really Unintelligent design vs. Intelligent Design.  I was shaking my head----calling out to the radio in the van:  it has nothing to do with intelligent vs. unintelligent argument--- the argument is over the original *design* was it or was it not intelligent?  Was it or was it not the result of a big bang--dust [who made the dust!!??] forming into life... and on and on.  It takes far more imagination to presume that things just happen, just like (snap fingers) that!  And they just evolved from there to whatever they have become today.  It takes a whole lot of deadened imagination to even entertain the notion.....  So, the radio didn't respond. The radio never listens to me... the radio is just a radio... it is only consumed with being heard.  Like all of us, I guess.

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Chris and I have had that exact conversation...how CAN a big bang occur with nothing to collide? It indeed makes no sense therefore to us it is a nonsense! Intellectuals have us lesser mortals scratching our heads at their stupidity. 0 into 0 = 0 or are we missing something? In agreement, Glenys

I know, Glenys!  Isn't it just incredible-----to think of all the miraculous things.  I guess lately, when I read about this or cloning or whatever, I think... you want to clone something or you want to make something? Get your own material and the rules of the game are that you have to start with nothing!  Can't be done. 
 

August 5, 2005     'been reminiscing over several memories --- things that've happened around this time of year and the outcome of some of life's trials and events.   Significant markers have occurred during the month of August over the years and that being so, I find myself walking around the yard, as I do in my quiet time most days, rehearsing some of the experiences and reviewing some of the events in the theatre of my thoughts.  As I walk through the yard and talk to the LORD, I'm often drawn to the garden or to the rose garden and I see the magnificent beauty and the wonderful variety of scents and colour and I stand in awe of the majesty of the LORD and His Creation.

In several places in the gardens I have rocks with dates and names on them or dates and words that reflect some significant events.  These serve to remind me of what God has done---what He's carried me through---how He's answered requests and needs.  I praise Him there.  And then each day I see other things in the garden that serve as reminders of things that need to be changed or work the LORD is doing or needs to do in my life.  These are things that point me to weakness, sin, forgetfulness or sorrow.  These serve as reminders to me:  the dry soil, the weeds, spent blooms, wayward branches, dead canes, slugs, more weeds, and fast growing ivy and morning glory.  Some areas look quite nice --- at a distance.  Then up close, the weeds, dead parts, spent blooms and even new growth and buds and fruit appears. 

The weeds remind me of sin in my life...   not just sin, but disappointment, lack of self-control, regrets, plans, prayers, people... etc.  Over the years I see how amazingly the weeds grow alongside the healthy plants, shrubs, vegetables and trees and I see how the weeds tend to take on the characteristics of the plants in proximity.  I see how the weeds then become deceivers and often practically or literally take over the once healthy plants.  I consider my own life... and I ask: what things have I allowed to come in that *seem* like healthy things, activities, understandings, etc., and what are they doing in my life---what fruit do I see and what fruit can be seen in me?    What things have come in and are now actually choking out the original plan or the original path?  So I ask the LORD for wisdom... I walk along and ask.

The LORD gave me a great gift this year---and I, as yet, don't even really know what it is.  It came in a very unlikely form.  Because I was still not well in late winter, I didn't work out in the yard doing the pruning---but the pruning went on without my "supervision."  Wes was working out of town and others were working on the now infamous family bathroom project.  So the pruning took place---it would become for me a picture of what the LORD was/is doing in my life.  Weeks went by; months went by.  No blossoms this year.  Gradually, some leaves appeared ---but very few--- mind you, this was the most extreme pruning I'd ever seen.  Now, it's August and ordinarily we would be thinning the apples in order to make room for them all to continue on to maturity.  Not this year.  There will be no apples on the trees this year---but there is growth---now, lots of growth!  I sort of saw that as a picture of seasons in my life.   Where there had been deep pruning in the previous season, the next season appeared to yield no growth---perhaps no visible fruit.  But now I am seeing that though there may be no visible fruit in a season, it doesn't necessarily mean no growth or even no fruit is being produced.

So, the gift the LORD gave me?  It's like I'm seeing in a glass dimly.  His picture in the deeply pruned and apparently fruitless trees was His gift to me.  For that's how I have been seeing this season.  I am thankful for the rich well of God's Word and the deep cleansing and nourishing water being absorbed by the taproot of my life.

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Pamela, when I gave birth to still-born twin girls, I wasn't allowed to see them. So I wrote their names and birthdate with a scripture verse on a fancy brick and planted it near a pink rose bush. It grew beautifully big and bloomed most of the year. I often would go out into the garden and somehow this beautiful bush seemed fitting as a memorial and comforted me. I am glad to know I am not the only one to do this! Love Glenys

Glenys--- I think many of us are more alike than we'd ever realize and it's in the sharing of personal preferences or experiences or activities that we learn this.  Thanks for sharing your endearing experiences.

---

Nine years ago today our dear and trusted midwife went to be with the LORD.  We were presenting out offer while sitting in the dining room of the house which would become our own home and had returned to what was home to us at the time to receive the news of her passing.  Though cervical cancer was taking its toll on her body, I was regularly seeing her in her home office at the time.  I was pregnant with Naomi and anticipating a December 25 birth (and Naomi was born on her due date).  I recall the loving care and attention to detail I received from Wendy, as well as her perceptive understanding during each phase of pregnancy and labor and delivery.  I miss her sometimes as much as I miss the passing season of childbearing... both seem to be a distant memory --- it's been a long goodbye.

I'd like to take both the opportunity and liberty to admonish the sisters who read this blog to consider scheduling a mammogram if one has not been recently done.  As part of some ongoing medical visits I made an appointment something like three months ago to have a mammogram  (this is not necessarily an endorsement for that site---it's just generally informative; discretion) and occasionally read some negative thoughts regarding the annual practice of routine mammograms.  I even entertained some of the skeptical notions I was reading.  And then...

Our daughter in law called to say that it was just discovered --- during a routine annual  mammogram --- that her mother had suspicious cells that biopsies would later reveal to be cancerous.   I kept my August 1st appointment and the next day Ute had surgery to remove the cancer and some lymph nodes.  When I talked with her today, she sounded great--really upbeat and calm concerning waiting for results of the biopsies she hopes to hear the first of next week.  Go get a mammogram... 'could save your life.

I don't recall so much focus on cancer... but it is a season, I suppose.  Seasons seem to go like that.  It was six years ago this week that I spent my last visit (at least with meaningful dialogue) with my father before his passing.  Cancer.  From diagnosis to death was about two months.  I sort of muse with my mother from time to time that he was foolish regarding the way he handled things... must have been fear.  Or ignorance. Or both.

And then I've been reading about the young mother in Virginia who lost consciousness because of a bleeding cancerous brain tumor.   Though she was immediately placed on life support and had been declared brain-dead, the young mother continued to carry her unborn baby.  It must've been incredibly intense there, not only as the baby was delivered by section, but as the life support was removed from the mother. The inevitable death must've been quite sorrowful for all the family and friends.  What a long road ahead for the brave husband.  What a strangely quiet and almost ignored event. Tragic.

 

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August 4, 2005      So... you've gotta wonder:  where's it all going and when's it all going to end?  From the debates on Intelligent design vs. the theory of evolution to The first dog cloning.    While I don't care much for animals... I do care that this barbaric practice is taking place and believe it to be yet another step in the total moral decay of society.  The repulsive practice is like a fully loaded freight train on a steep slope headed south.   On That Day...  I just keep thinking about that: on That Day.  One day *every* knee will bow and confess that Jesus Christ is LORD... The Word of God that became flesh and dwelt among us.

Okay, so Wes took me to the movies Tuesday night.  You know, it's only been in recent years that we've gone out to the movies again.  We used to go see movies... uh, weekly.  Then we ended that and many years passed before we went again.  So, a few movies this year.  

So, Wes was telling me that World mag had a write up on the particular movie we were heading out to see.  Remember... all last month I was sort of preoccupied with the societal paradigm shift and then most recently, after attending the  Diaprax  or Dialectic Praxis conference, I cannot help but see things in a different light.  Mind you, I still don't buy into conspiracy theories. ;-)  But, it doesn't take an intellectual genius to figure out what's going on ---the murdering of unborn children and the unethical scientific exploration--- and to take a stand against the practices.  And not become weary in well doing.  Ah... the enemy would delight in the total destruction of moral absolutes.  It was with this mindset that we stepped up to the window, purchased our tickets and made our way to our seats (happily, we were late and missed most all the previews!).  From the opening scene until just before the close of the movie I experienced enough rushing adrenalin to power the multiplex cinema.   I wondered if I needed a latte' to sort of balance things out a bit!

The Island was gripping --- in its message (or at least the message I gleaned) and in its seeming non-stop fast paced action scenes.    I gasped and covered my eyes numerous times and was sickened by the potential.    It's obviously not far off.  The mind of man is a dangerous thing.   So, do I recommend seeing it?  Yeah, maybe.  And at the same time, I *don't* recommend it.   Did I see The Passion?  No.  And I won't. 

Don't throw tomatoes.  One thing I'm learning about that is that it's your computer screen and your desk and your keyboard that gets messed up when you throw tomatoes at websites and bloggers.  And really...  you're only reading a small slice of life after all.  Quintessential Bloggers usually don't tell the whole story anyway; broadens the scope for imagination that I guess.  I know I often tell too much.

I'll do something light later.  If I can think of something light.

[blog revised this morning after the LORD prompted me to be more careful-----------subtle nuances of life and personality cannot be conveyed and I never wish to mislead or misrepresent my Lord or be, or appear to be, a woman without discretion.]

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Hi Pamela I'm so glad you mentioned "The Island". We've been 'toying' with the idea to go and see it. What you wrote about it reminds me of a book I read years ago written by Dean Koontz. I know that he and Steven King have bad reputations and are labeled "kings of horror", but these guys know an awful lot about life and human relationships. They can write well, too. Anyway, in the introduction to the book, Koontz notes to the reader that although his story is fictional, he is certain that events revealed in the book are, in actual fact, a practice of those "in charge" today. The story line is about brain washing, subliminals, mind control and in this particular case, via an additive in the town's water reserves. Although it must have been written in the late eighties, Koontz was very aware of the ways of the world, and wasn't ashamed to note them ~ even if it was in a fictional form. And funny enough ~ being fictional actually made them more believable! Glad to see you write your heart despite what may come! It's good and refreshing to hear you state honest, truthful facts. Love and blessings Helen

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So glad to see you back, dear Pamela! I just finished reading of your lovely family reunion, and viewing your wonderful family photos... I am reminded of having that mulit-generational vision for my family. May I be as blessed as you are to sit among my children, and their children... I love reading your take on the world's spiritual and moral meltdown. Always walk away from your blog with a morsel of something to ponder and mull over...you have a gift, dear one! Those who are His know the signs, and look up! for our redemption draweth nigh... Until we speak again, I remain... Joyfully His, Carla

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So glad that your blog is "up and running" again. I've missed my morning coffee and your blog. I have no tomatoes to throw and wouldn't if I did! You should not have to feel apologetic if your husband takes you and your children to see a movie. I used to watch Little House and The Waltons every day. Personally, that was sin for me. Not because I was watching television but because I was neglecting my household by doing so. I've been a Little House addict since I was a very young girl, yearning for a real family life. Speaking of my household responsibilities, my 20 minutes of computer time is up and I have to get busy!

August 3, 2005    There's much to comment on regarding all the latest news events and reports.  Sad news around the world.  Death, destruction and loss...  O---for the Good News of the Word. 

President Bush is condemned if he does______, and he's condemned if he doesn't_______.   So, he gets high marks on his latest physical evaluation.  Good for him.  Bad for him.  You just had to know that there was going to be a negative political consequence regardless of whether his health scores were high or low.  Were he to have been found to be obese, sedentary and in poor health, it would have been his fault that the young people in our country have such a poor example set by the President and they might have claimed that *that's* why record numbers of youth are obese.  But, no.  The President is  in better health than "any" president in history and now there's finger wagging that the President does not care about physical fitness of youth.  I couldn't make this up! 

Democratic National Committee spokesman Josh Earnest said, "His personal habits indicate that physical fitness is not just fun and games for him. Don't our kids deserve the same opportunities to be physically fit? President Bush should stop running from his responsibility and make sure that all American children have access to physical fitness programs."   It's astonishing to me, the pervasive socialistic bent and just how it's saturated the mind-set of (for the most part ?) Americans.  By this, I mean that it amazes me how dependent society has become on government programs.  From reading the article, one could assume that all the obese children would be thin and active if President Bush weren't so stingy with funding the physical education programs---especially Title nine and college women's athletic programs.  Political-----purely political.  The president is only fit because he has privilege---see?  We need the Marxist classless society so that there isn't the great disparity of the wealthy's ability to be fit and the powerlessness of the less fortunate and the hindrance to fitness they have to endure.   People are buying the movie line: "That ain't right" --- so, we must fund programs and force youth to participate so that they can have the same opportunity the president has.   See the dialectic process?  If you are told something long enough, you will believe it and in the process, your mind is shifted away from the your personal responsibility, your home and family (as education and government have slowly been doing for a hundred years) and you will begin to embrace that mode of thinking and soon... you'll join the tirades:  It's not parents' responsibility to guide the family, provide the meals and exercise and activities that will encourage good health---in fact(!) they don't know how---so, therefore, it's the government's role to do so and conversely, it's the government's (read: Conservative Right Wing Radicals) fault when we have problems or *seeming* lack of funding.  There's no lack of funding in education---lack of appropriate spending, yes, but not lack of funding.  Don't our kids deserve the same opportunities to be physically fit?  If they have legs and are able to run, they *already* have the same opportunities to be physically fit.   Hear the spin? "President Bush should stop running from his responsibility..."   Yet another angle of societal engineering and political spin.  And I'm not even endorsing or condemning the particular policies of the current administration.
 

   
Lots of chilly volleyball each day at the coast!  Naomi carries stuff to the play area.

  
Our granddaughter & our dolly along with Andrew and Joseph had fun in a balloon toss game.

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August 2, 2005  Just received Doug Phillips' newsletter regarding the death of the "newly inaugurated President of Southern Sudan, Dr. John Garang. He was the highest ranking Christian in the world of an officially Islamic state."  I then read Doug's Blog for August 1, 2005.

More pics, more family, more stories... but first: more laundry!

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Pamela, you have such a lovely family! Those pics of your Grandmother and Mother too- beautiful! I love the pic of you with the hydrangeas too! You are so pretty and quite frankly I had to stare hard to pick you out from amongst your children in the family shots! You look like one of your daughters- youthful and joyful! That pic of you and Wes together is gorgeous too! You both radiate love and happiness! It makes me glad to see happy family shots...thank you for sharing your family with us! May God continue to bless you, my Friend. I missed not reading your blog! Glenys And I missed writing, too!  Writing is an addiction to me.  I sometimes wish I could post everything I write---but probably very little of what I write or would like to write is worth reading.   But pictures---well, they're worth a thousand words! I couldn't resist some of those shots... and you know there were hundreds! ;-)  BTW,  I've missed you, too!

 

August 1, 2005  Back to appointments, laundering, weeding, watering, reflecting on the recent days with family and now: attempts will be made to peruse the mails and news and then blog what I've been only mentally writing over the last ten days.  Time constraints prohibit me from blogging very much but it's good to make a few notes and share a few slices of life... that is, after all, what this blog's about and this is about how the view looks from here.

Rose coloured.

Our family attended a weekend mini conference and from there, we headed down the Oregon Coast to our family reunion at the beach.  Our family---our children, parents, brothers and sisters and their families all traveled quite a distance to spend the week together.  While it was enjoyable to be on vacation---as with most vacations, it's good to be home again and it's time to get back into the daily routine.  It really was a wonderful reunion--- fun to visit and eat(!!!) together on the *chilly* Oregon Coast and to stay in a lovely beach house with nine of our children along with our son and daughter-in-law and their three children.  The whole family usually stays in one large home, but this year we needed the additional space and so we rented another home just around the corner for the week to accommodate the growing crowd.  I think this is the first year in *many* that no one in the family is pregnant --- or even talking about babies coming along!!  For a long while, the family didn't even ask me... they just looked at the calendar and said, it's been a few months since she had a baby ---must be 'bout time for another... and for a number of years, that's just about the way things went.  For as long as I can remember, it seems at least one family was infanticipating--- in the early years sometimes a couple of us were pregnant around the same time.  Most of the family ended the childbearing years early and some started later --- now, I suppose, any new babies will be grandchildren.  It's become quite amazing to me how things go a particular direction for a number of years and then seemingly, and quite suddenly, a new season arrives --- and with it, a new chapter has already begun to be written.

So, throughout the week, we all shared meals (each family taking a day to prepare & serve meals and family devotions after breakfast) and enjoyed the 'table-talks' together.  We had delicious meals each day and desserts each night and even some roasting marshmallows for S'mores. 

I brought the espresso maker and so we indulged in several mocha's and latte's.  Tara brought some large bars of chocolate that went too fast!  Needless to say, all the pre-reunion weight loss is merely a sweet memory.  We agreed we all grew closer (literally) during the reunion.

There was a lot of time to lounge... lots of time to go to the beach, take hikes or go for walks.  Some played volleyball each day on the beach  ---
(I thought it was *too* windy and freezing!!)  

 

We had a bittersweet thread or thought woven throughout the week... we all missed Dad, yet, we were all so grateful that Mother now has such a dear husband to share the "twilight years."  Both had long marriages ending in the death of their spouses and God obviously and marvelously provided wonderful companionship and blessing them in their marriage together.  They both likely would never have dreamed that they'd ever even entertain the thought of another mate---yet, God in His wisdom had a marvelous plan for them for which they continually praise Him.   We saw evidence of their love and respect for one another and that made the time all the sweeter!  I never imagined love like that could happen to a person twice... but it has... it really has!
 

Another bittersweet thread was the call received early in the week notifying us of the passing of Grandpa Gene.  At 96, following a stroke or series of strokes, he'd been spending the last several months in a care center.  Each day would find him sitting silently in an easy chair... unable to hear very well at all, or to speak with clarity or even to eat.  So, his decline over the last months has been heartbreaking to watch --- but now, safe in the Arms of Jesus, home at last.  We marveled at God's mercy, His provision and His timing as all the family was already gathered not too far away.  We cut the vacation short by a couple of days and joined together with more extended family for his funeral and memorial service and yet another meal together. ;-)  I remember thinking that Grandma never looked more radiant than at the funeral of her oldest son (Wes's dad - 5 years ago); but somehow, this past Saturday, she seemed to glow --- as if to show that she knew that Heaven is all that much closer!  Surely, at nearly 97 years she is one of the loveliest women I know. 

As Wes's brother, David, sang The Lord's Prayer, it seemed as if all of heaven was rejoicing.  I know in times like these my theology gets all spongy but, following the service, one of the old saints commented that their daddy must have been smiling in heaven at the heavenly sound of David's beautiful voice.   I agreed.  Professionally trained with many performances past... I don't think he ever sounded better.    Aunt Sherrie (also professionally trained and even after having a physically debilitating stroke) sang with such splendor and clarity... she has, to me, the voice and face of an angel---see, there goes all my theology out the window.  Neither one displays arrogance in the use of their gift of voice... it's always wonderful to be able to listen to them.  I'm ever grateful to have married into a musical family---beautiful music is so dear to me---perhaps dearer because of their love of music and gospel songs.

 

Speaking of music... I was sorry that our Kathryn could not be with the family for the funeral services.  I wish that she had been able to accompany David at the piano.  We trusted the LORD for His timing and encouraged her to continue with the prior commitment to attend The Booher Music Camp in Oregon.  We felt that the LORD was surely blessing the plans and the timing of the music camp immediately following our family reunion on the Oregon Coast just south of Seaside.  We had originally planned to drive her to the camp in the heart of the state of Oregon but through the series of schedule changes, she had to make train reservations and arrive earlier than originally planned.  God is gracious and  worked everything out.  Why do we fret?  I spoke with her on the phone and she's really enjoying the training... she says it's really a 'stretching' experience.  I look forward to the fruit of the time spent there.

 

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I was hoping that everything is OK at your house. I miss your daily blogs with your updates. I find your web site refreshing and inspirational. Your past blogs have been uplifting and enjoyable. But here lately it seems like something is bringing you down (blogs have been more serious with concerns of the world). I hope that you find the comfort that you need to bring back that sweet positive outlook you have on life and bring us back into your daily life with your blogs. Hope to hear from you soon. Kathy

Ah... now you see... everything's okay!  Thanks for writing!  Yes... I *am* bogged down a bit and was preoccupied with news and views and was blogging down, too, I guess.  So---for a few days I'll be attempting to re-create some of what happened and some of what we learned and shared over the last two weeks.  I don't know if I have enough time or web-space to devote to the retelling of some of the stories and experiences.  Particularly, the sharing of what we heard at the Diaprax  or Dialectic Praxis conference with Dean Gotcher and a couple of other men sharing in the presentation.  It was tremendously interesting and challenging.  It was timely, as I have been writing lately about the paradigm shift in the church and in the thinking or societal engineering that's taking place in America---in the world ---  July blog.  I so enjoyed listening to John Coleman, as well.  He sure liked being in Centralia---his jokes about being out in the middle of nowhere were very funny. )  He is from inner city LA and so, yes, Centralia *is* out in the middle of nowhere!  He wanted to have his pic taken with some of the young people...  ( couple of our sons are in the pic with John --- Timothy in shirt and shorts---back one day from Mexico, and Samuel in white t-shirt/shirt and jeans)

 

I've just received a note regarding a special fund
being privately set up for a serious need for
Mrs. Nancy Campbell.  (Above Rubies ministry)
She has not made this request known,  but some
sisters have felt led to minister in this way.

Please pray and ask if the LORD might have your
family to contribute financially to cover the great
cost of her critical dental needs.   

For inquiries or paypal contributions,
please write to the Hockenbury's. Thank you.

 

 

"Wherefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus, and love unto all the saints,  Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers;  That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power,  Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places,
21 Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come:  And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church,  Which is his body, the fullness of him that filleth all in all."

Ephesians 1.15-23
 

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