Do You Ever Deal With Anger?
Sandy Willoughby
Anger --- a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.
An emotion. A feeling. An emotion and feeling that many more times than not leads to action... the action of letting that anger out and not usually in productive ways. Instead, the more practiced habit is in letting our anger dictate our actions and not stopping to allow the Holy Spirit to bring about reason or right.
Anger isn't always wrong... in fact, sometimes God allows anger to motivate action. There is a fine line, however, between anger worked out into positive motivation and anger let go of with negative results.
If you are having a problem with anger... if you have been dealing with anger in your life... you know it. You don't have to read another line or even another word for deep within you is the immediate acknowledgement of the anger and the fury raging through your life.
I know this because not only have I dealt with anger in the past but I have been dealing with anger of differing degrees for a couple of weeks now. I have been through years where anger was a draining issue in my life. I am learning that when I am dealing with an issue of anger --- I am not always "dealing" with it. Does that sound crazy? Smiles:)... it might sound strange but "hear" me out on it. We say that we are having a "hard time dealing with anger right now" and that can usually be translated into "we aren't dealing well or at all" with our anger.
To "deal with" our anger means to accept the fact that anger is there. It means to face it and take steps to "deal" with it. We cannot do this on our own and have success. If we try it on our own we will fail time and time again. I have a very filled past of this to prove it.
To what extent has anger invaded your life? Has it gone untended until it ignited into rage, fury, and/or wrath? Have you, like me, found yourself to get into such a rage (a fit of anger) that you go beyond the first problem that aroused your anger in the first place and go on pouring out everything that has upset you for the past year or more? Have you lost control to the point of storming fury (violent or explosive anger) where you knew you should STOP and walk away but you didn't? Don't answer me but the answers will be instantaneous to you --- have you allowed the wrath (intense anger) of the moment to have the control and blamed everything under the sun for the mean things
you said or screamed that spewed like built up steam released?
We won't leave out indignation. Indignation is a feeling of righteous anger and sometimes there is a righteous anger but oh, so more often we FEEL indignant when the anger isn't righteous and we are mistakenly seeing ourselves as being righteously angry. Sometimes this leads to deep resentment (a feeling of deep and bitter anger) at whatever or whoever we're mad at. We need to examine our anger closely to insure that it isn't something we are finding ways to justify or rationalize being "righteous" or okay.
"And it came about, as soon as Moses came near the camp, that he saw the calf and the dancing; and Moses anger burned, and he threw the tablets from his hands and shattered them at the foot of the mountain." Exodus 32:19 NASB
This was an example ---and a rare one --- of righteous anger. Moses was coming down from this amazing meeting with GOD... a meeting where GOD gave commandments. A meeting that lasted for 40 days and 40 nights! He takes from that meeting two tablets with the testimony --- written on both sides. The tablets were "God's work, and the writing was God's writing engraved on the tablets" (Exodus 32:15-16). He comes down from that and what does he find? Joshua is walking down with him they both hear the sound of singing. They were celebrating... dancing to a CALF! Not to God but a created "god" and they had turned their back on God Almighty.
Moses was angry and that anger was righteous.
We will get angry. Anger is one of the hardest of emotions to control. It is hard to feel raging anger and then just hand it to God... to read His Word for solutions... to pray for all and anything involved and so on. It is hard and sometimes we fail. But we can follow some biblical guidelines and grow more mature in dealing with this as we go. We can probably search through the Bible and find hundreds but for now... let us focus on "Five Ways of Dealing with Anger":
1.Anger shouldn't last. We should get rid of anger as quickly as we can. When we hang on to anger... we give satan a foothold!
"For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5 NASB
"Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil and opportunity." Ephesians 4:26 NASB
We would all be hot headed fit throwers if on our own! We would be like toddlers with no parent's guiding hand... like children with no governing, and like teenagers with no rules! We would be OUT OF CONTROL. There are not many who can boast of never letting this happen at one point or another!
This is the good news... we have a guiding hand, a fair and strong governor and rules (Bible) to follow that can keep anger from mastering us.
"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger pacifies contention." Proverbs 15:18 NASB
2. We should not keep constant company with those refusing to get a hold on their anger.
We will encounter angry people for all of our days but the Bible commands that we do not associate or "go" with hot-tempered people lest we should learn their ways. Just as we are known by the company we keep... we will pick up the ways of who we hang around.
"Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man, Lest you learn his ways, and find a snare for yourself." Proverbs 22:24 NASB
3. We should not be quickly angered. We learn in God's Word that we should be SLOW to anger. It shouldn't be the first reaction we have... perhaps it should be the last option we take! "This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;" James 1:19 NASB
4. We are to cease from anger. We are to forsake wrath. Cease means "to put an end to; discontinue." Cease from anger means that we put an end to anger; we discontinue anger. Anger should "come to an end; stop: a process that never ceases." According to dictionary.com. Forsake is "to give up", to "leave altogether", "to abandon". God's Word says that we are to give up wrath (intense anger)... to leave wrath altogether, to abandon wrath. God would not give us instructions and/or commandments that He would not equip us with what we needed to do them. We cannot do this on our own and with us it is impossible but with God it is possible!
"Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret, it leads only to evil doing." Psalm 37:8 NASB
"And looking upon them Jesus said to them, 'With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26 NASB
5. We are not to cause or create arguments, fights, or quarrels. We will do good to not stir up conflicts with others. "An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression." Proverbs 29:22 NASB
Abounding in transgressions is like constantly violating a biblical (or other) law or command. It would be routinely overstepping limits and boundary lines.
We should live peacefully --- as much as we can --- and not in strife.
None of us... not even one of us... will follow all the biblical rules for dealing with anger all of the time. We are flawed human beings and we only do good as much as we die to self and live to God. It does help to train our selves, though. It does help to strive for self discipline in areas such as anger and attitude.
The Bible is the best education we will ever learn and we should be as diligent in mastery here as some are at attaining Master's degrees! This Living Word will teach us how to control and manage our anger. We can learn how to keep anger from getting a hold on our lives or getting a grip on our emotions. We can learn to not act on our anger and choose instead to allow God to work through any anger we find ourselves in as He wills.
I don't know how good I'll do at this or when I'll come out of this shadow of frustration but I do know that I don't have to depend on my own weak self. I have a Father God pouring His loving affection and gentle spirit onto me and He can control what I cannot.
When I want to scream... He can still my voice.
When I feel emotions like a raging river... He leads me to still waters.
When I am overwhelmed and at the edge of life's cliff looking down... He gently pulls me to Him and keeps me safe while I cry.
When I fail... He succeeds ~ through me.
When I cannot take it anymore --- whatever that "it" may be --- He is there and when I look towards Him, I see that He was holding my burden for me all along.
This is so for you, precious one. Where you are frustrated... He is peace, your peace. "To shine upon those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace."
Luke 1:79 NASB
.... He guides our feet in the way of peace... away from anger and into peace. This is my prayer for you and this is my prayer to Him for me. May every anger trying to dwell in you where Jesus dwells flee in the Name of Jesus Christ... in the place of anger may He fill you with that peace of His... that peace not as the world gives but His peace ~ the one that transcends all understanding.
Love in Christ Jesus...
Love in the Prince of Peace,
Your Sister in Him,
Sandy
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