Sisters in the LORD… I think of you,
of you who write from time to time to share the burdens of your heart and your prayer
requests; I think of you from whom I rarely hear; I think of you whom I will likely never
meet, nor ever speak with this side of heaven. I have been asked why I write weekly
messages to women… I have asked myself why is the desire to reach women so incredibly
intense? Under spiritual attack from time to time, I find the accusations and questions
intensify: who do you think you are, and what makes you think your messages are needed?
These and many other questions and doubts flood my mind. Amazingly, when I feel no
direction and no prompting on a particular message, the attacks are minimal; however, when
I have a particular message weighing on my heart, the attacks are phenomenal and the
distractions that prevent me from committing the words to paper are too numerous to
recount.
I believe the LORD has called me to share
personal matters with you and other sisters in Christ and I am humbled and sobered at the
opportunity. I know when I receive messages and letters from other sisters whom the LORD
has also called to share, I am blessed by their instruction, correction and inspiration to
live godly in Christ Jesus. I am grateful to the LORD that He is calling and equipping
many to encourage and instruct women in the ways of the God.
I call this a letter of love to you today
because I am compelled to share my heart and some thoughts with you. I’m troubled and
burdened increasingly as I watch the decline of godly obedience and the lack of spiritual
growth and sensitivity prevailing in the church. Incidentally, I’ve not come to these
conclusions by critical observation, rather these conclusions are borne of reflections on
letters I continually receive from, and conversations I have with, Christian women. The
defeated lives, the lack of spiritual growth and hunger, the compromises, the
distractions, and the lack of obedience to known commands is grievous. Another angle from
which I glean these observations, is from those who feel so very alone in their walk…
alone because they know no one or very few who personally live out what the Word expressly
teaches women/wives. They are longing for leaders to emulate, women to walk alongside them
to inspire them in the way.
In seeking the LORD to be used of Him, I
began to see a pattern of Him using the failings, imperfections and weaknesses in my daily
life and personal experiences---for I have surely experienced all of those things I have
just mentioned in the previous paragraph---all these things to be redeemed and used by
Him. I wasn’t growing as a believer, I had compromised, I had been distracted by the
things of the world and the pride of life, and obedience to the Word had been lacking
either out of ignorance or deliberate intent. I didn’t have personally, nor did I
cultivate friendships with women who were literally living testimonies for the LORD.
Sadly, for many years I didn’t even know I was so sorely lacking!
Then, in my distress, I cried out to the
LORD…my gracious, precious LORD, who patiently was working in me to become a vessel
He could use, began to lead me in ways I would never have imagined. About that time, one
of my children painted a picture of Jesus on the cross and wrote the verse:
2 Corinthians 5:21 "For he hath made
him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness
of God in him."
That we might be made the righteousness
of God in him! In Him! Righteousness! I was broken, because I knew that I was not living
in this way. Maybe you have had that same type of experience---or, maybe you had that
experience at conversion and didn’t wallow in habits and well worn patterns of living
as I did well past my conversion.
I still wandered a bit, I still wondered
where I would find real life role models…I thought I would be traveling this road
alone; But God. But God in His mercy had many marvelous plans for me. It was in the Bible
all along. You know, this is why I can say with certainty that He has marvelous plans for
you, too. Not only do we read it in the Word (Romans 8.28; Jeremiah 29.13) but we also see
it confirmed all around us. He is for us, not willing that any should perish (2 Peter 3.9)
I began watch and wait on Him. I began to allow Him to lead and to carry me through trials
and testings. Soon, I began to see that He really did carry me through disappointments---
disappointments of the present and disappointments of the past. While I was unfaithful, He
proved to be more faithful… I grew to trust Him more and saw that He was trustworthy
all along---Oh, how much I had missed in my foolishness! How silly I was to fear what
I’d have to give up… about that time I began to see for myself the depth of the
truth of the words of Jim Elliot: "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to
gain what he cannot lose."
The thing I learned is that I needed to *want*
to grow. I needed to want to change and to allow God’s tender Hand to work in
my life… I needed to sacrifice what I thought was right and turn to what and where He
was leading. I needed to give up my precious plans and my precious sleep to worship before
Him and to glean from the truths of His Word. It was so hard for me to do this, because I
was so very sure that I already knew the way---that I could grow with God at my
pace, in my way. I didn’t know this was such ignorant thinking---nor did I
know that it was foolish to accept only the hors d’oeuvres of the Christian
life… I was dabbling around the punch bowl not dipping into the wonderful deep well
of the Word. Engaging superficially in the Christian walk, It was as if I was feasting on
spiritual junk-food thinking it was nourishing enough; entertainment occupied my reading
time and the fruit of my life was not rich and sweet. It was when I began to really read,
and to record the mighty wonders of the LORD in my journal, when I began to seriously
meet---not just desire to meet with Him each morning, that He began to be my
LORD… my precious LORD. I was broken before Him and realized my grievous ways… I
began to see that He loves me. Yes… really. Unworthy as I am, I began to see that
this is true---unworthy, needy, deficient and prone to sin as I am---He loves me. Frail
and failing and feeble as my attempts to love and please Him are yet today, He loves
me…this I now know, yes Jesus loves me, this I know.
This is why I call this a letter of love
to you today. You see, He loves you. Yes, unworthy, needy, deficient and prone to sin as
you are, He loves you. You are His precious daughter… the precious daughter for whom
He died and rose again. You were uniquely created and specially designed by God who has a
wonderful plan for your life. He didn’t use a template to create us each exactly the
same, neither did He simply randomly set us in motion. He obviously has many different
ways in which He will use and direct each one, just has He has many ways of demonstrating
His love to the wandering and suffering world. Each woman has a unique design to be used
by God in particular to demonstrate His love. All those trials and disappointments you
have experienced or the hurts you are experiencing today have been allowed by Him for your
good and for His glory. He will cover you, He will carry you, He will walk with you
today…get up and take hold of the outstretched Hand.
When you rise to meet Him, He’ll
already have His chair pulled up next to yours…When you turn to light the lamp,
He’ll already have raised your blinds… When you look to Him to utter His
Name… He’ll already have His ear turned toward you, ready to hear your
supplications and your cries and He’ll already be ready to dry your tears and to hold
your hand. When you pray, lift up your hands and lay them in His. With certainty, you can
rest assured that what He said is true…"…I will never leave thee, nor
forsake thee." (Hebrews 13.5) You never have to walk alone again… you never have
to be afraid again… you never have to wonder again if there is anyone who understands
or anyone who cares for your soul----He cares…you have His promise… it’s in
His Word…. His letter of love to you…
pamela spurling ~ The Welcome Home ~ 2001
