“It never was about
these things”
pamela spurling
When I was a
little girl, we spent Christmas (my mother, my brother and me) with my
grandmother and I remember waking up on Christmas morning, and looking
through the key-hole of the door to the living room of my grandmother’s
cottage house---all I could see was a lighted Christmas tree with some
presents underneath.
We moved on Christmas---and when we got to the house that would
be our home, the only thing we saw was a lighted Christmas tree in the
window of that empty house. I don’t know what my mother must’ve
thought, but to me it was the most wonderful sight. I didn’t know Jesus
then and so Christmas was just a time of hoping Santa Claus would come.
We didn’t have a lot of family, so it really wasn’t a time of seeing all
kinds of relatives or performing in Christmas pageants.
Later, after my
husband and I were married, I’d taken Daniel and Michael with me to
visit my mother in California---and when we flew back home on Christmas
Eve, my husband met us at the airport and as we drove back home and into
the driveway of our old farm house, there in the window was a lighted
Christmas tree!
Early on and
through the years, Christmases were often difficult---not like how the
pictures in the ads seem to portray Christmas! Often just getting a
Christmas tree was a sacrifice. From my earliest memories, the Christmas
tree had become this focal point---this marker of success or
failure---happiness or tears. At Christmastime through the years, I
would often sit in our quiet living room holding a baby, late at night,
the only light in the room was the glow from candles and the lights on
the Christmas tree. A baby I used to hold at Christmastime now holds
babies of his own and babies who learned to walk at Christmastime now
walk and run so fast and I don’t rock them to sleep anymore.
Though looking forward
to Christmas---I was often sad and would face the day with dread. I
always hoped it would be this spectacular event, with fabulous, cleverly
wrapped presents, and with treats and unique cookies for everyone.
Though there’ve always been presents and we’ve always baked nice things
to eat, it never was quite all I’d hoped it would be. Over the years
there have been so many plays and costumes and performances to preoccupy
my thoughts, but each year, before I knew it: Christmas would be past.
I’d never have things
done in time and so I’d have to rush, staying up late to bake and sew,
making mistakes and feeling alone. I often felt disappointed that I
couldn’t just get it all right---often feeling so empty in crowds,
hurrying to buy the gifts and knowing that I couldn’t afford them,
trying to decide between food and baking supplies or purchasing simple
gifts---rarely completing the long list of things to do and always
regretting my annual lack of planning and foresight.
Each year I’d look
back on Christmas day and realize that I’d missed it. Another Christmas
was over---and because I was so concerned about what it was supposed to
be and to making it feel right for everyone, I would completely miss
living out the message and blessing that God had given. I knew Him! I
knew Him but I didn’t know He was enough at “Christmas” and I didn’t
know He was all I needed at “Christmas.”
And then ------- the LORD
in
His mercy brought a change in my life and in my heart and Christmas has
never been the same again.
The clichés of
Christmas, in time, became trite to me (Jesus is the reason for the
season or Merry Christmas) because they detract from the Truth. No
longer could the birth and life of my LORD and Saviour be trivialized by
tinsel on trees and reindeer or ribbon and wrappings or by all I hoped
we could buy or give---God became flesh and dwelt among us, that we
might have life---that we might be freed from the penalty of sin and
death.
The change that came
about---and the change that’s still unfolding---the change started with
the birth of a baby---a gift the LORD
brought our family.
Though filled with joy
in my heart I never thought the baby I was carrying would actually be
born on that day---many months I waited for the 25th of
December---the day set aside to celebrate the birth of Christ---also the
due date given my baby… and then I was awakened with the reality that
that day had come! Very early in the morning I sat wondering what Mary
must’ve felt as she laboured in preparation of the birth of the LORD
Jesus.
In the evening of that
same day as I held my newborn baby, I knew I was at a turning point and
I wondered again how she felt the in evening of the day of the birth of
Jesus.
I was filled with awe
at the mercy of the LORD
in the gift of our baby on Christmas Day.
From that day, I knew it could never again be about trees and ornaments,
decked halls or sleigh bells ringing---no---it could *never
be* about these things again because it *never
was* about these things…
It could never again
be about a Christmas tree and whatever symbolic attachment it’s been
given. It never was about a Christmas tree laden with lights and gifts…
It was about a baby, a
baby born in a stable and lain in a manger---the light of the
world---the key to heaven. Ours is to pass that key along! It’s ours to
share and celebrate: the real gift. No, it’s never been about making
lists and checking them twice, it’s not about whose been naughty or
nice---for while we were yet sinners, [Christ was born] Christ died for
us. All were naughty---none were nice, for all have sinned and come
short of the glory of God.
The birth of Jesus was
turning point---Christ came to a world bound by sin and sorrow separated
from God to be that key unlocking the darkness and oppression.
On that day, long ago
in Bethlehem, the world was given a gift… It was in the form of a baby,
a baby whose birth was foretold by prophets and announced by
angels----after the birth of Jesus, the world was never---could never
be---the same again.
And for me, Christmas
could never be the same again.
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
Many blessings on you
and your home, pamela spurling
TheWelcomeHome –
©2003
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