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Joy In Homemaking
by pamela spurling
Our pastor had a good message for us for Mother’s Day.
Interesting… the passages of Scripture he chose are passages I study frequently and
to which I refer many times. He gave examples of godly mothers and memories of his own
mother. He shared the fact that anyone can be a *house keeper*, but a *home
maker* is entirely different altogether. I began to think back on times I worked
outside our home. I was trying to be a worker *in* the home and a worker *out*
of the home… it was very difficult and many days I failed at both. Why? Because I was
a house divided. The LORD God in His wisdom has written in His Word a fully complete guide
for us----we read in 2Timothy 3.16-17 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God,
and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in
righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good
works." Amazing: "thoroughly furnished unto all good works." I was thinking
how we look for examples to follow. Patterns to duplicate in our lives. We know what the
Word says and yet as hard as we look, we find few living examples to follow. I remember
that last time I worked outside the home… our first two children were very young. I
thought the best thing would be to take a job cooking for a daycare center up the street
from our home. It was a logical "right" thing to do. It was just up the
street---I could walk and save the gas… I was not consulting the Word on this
one… I was consulting logic… much like Eve consulted logic: Genesis 3.6 "And
when the woman saw that the tree was good for food…" I saw this job would
provide money for our family… I could get daycare at a greatly reduced price…
"and that it was pleasant to the eyes…" The job looked good to
me… it was up the street… I was with my children…it really brought no
harm… I liked cooking there… What a blessing it was to finally have the truth
revealed to me and the LORD took me through a series of events that "forced me"
to see it was time to quit my job. What an unbelievable peace I experienced. Amazingly, it
was immediately after turning in my letter of resignation I discovered my prayers and
longings were being answered: I was pregnant with our third child. She was the gift the
LORD gave… one of the reasons, I believe was obedience to Him…which is why one
of her names is Grace. God is so gracious to us---so patient toward us. So what does all
that have to do with being a keeper at home? I listened to our Pastor share… in
addition to the other Mother’s Day messages I heard… the theme kept
recurring---keepers at home. But what does reality say? We look around and see that
keeping a home is not enough---that it doesn’t "work" for many women. Even
long time "keepers at home are becoming discouraged and enticed to leave the
home." But the Word says in Titus2.4-5, regarding the older women’s teaching the
younger, "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to
love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own
husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."
Being a keeper at home looks to me to be a Scriptural
mandate… yet what so we see in the church today? What are the keepers at home to do?
Like I have inferred many times, I see the sad results of leaving the Word for the
world… and that is that generally, women don’t know how to be keepers at
home… and whenever one doesn’t know how to do something very well, unless
there’s a tremendous drive to press on… a strong motivation to stay the
course… women are not going to find contentment in the home and will look for it
elsewhere. It seems to not matter the most what the LORD says in the Word… the world
is winning in many homes. The world *seems* to offer things the home will never
yield. The money we need, the stuff we want, the fellowship for which we long… The
world *seems* to offer the answers and yet look at the sadness and the discontent
in women’s lives. After spending so many years at home with children and looking at
what is going on in the world---I just shake my head wondering how to reach women with
what the Word says…maybe you think about all of this, too. Perhaps this is also a
burden on your heart. How can sisters in the LORD be reached? I wonder how sisters in the
LORD cope with all the temptations and the rest of the worldly thinking. I know the tide
is against this thinking and the Truths of the Word are neglected and overlooked as
inappropriate or inconvenient to today’s lifestyle. But then, wouldn’t much of
the Word of God fall into that category were we to reason that way? I pray as I write and
rewrite this, that you will join me in praying for the restoration of Scriptural living in
our homes. My heart is heavily burdened for this. In addition, I know one thing is for
certain… and here is a test you might understand… as I look back on the days of
our marriage or in my life… I never look back and say, "Hmmm, I sure wish
I’d worked a few more days…" Instead, I know I have often said,
"Hmmmm, I sure wish I had been home for this or that event… for that
naptime… for that run in the yard… for that push of the swing…" And on
Mother’s Day as I saw those two boys---men now--really, I thought back on the couple
of years I thought were so important to spend out of our home working. I will share
another time the temptations to compromise that were present in the place in which I
worked---the Christian center… and the potential damage to our marriage because I was
doing that which seemed expedient at the time---not being obedient to the Word and not
remaining a keeper at home.
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A Standard in the Home
I like John MacArthur. I like that he is a serious student of the
Word--- I like that I can count on him to have a line, a standard. I like that he is a
diligent student of the Word. I like that he is a no compromise sort of guy. When he makes
a statement, I listen. Even when I don’t agree with what he is saying, I still
appreciate him---knowing that he has spent a good deal of time in the Word dealing with
the matter at hand. Oh, and another thought---I sure don’t mean that I wish Christian
men would talk like, act like, look like, think like John MacArthur, but I pray men would
take seriously what the Word says and obey it. I know that making a statement like that
puts me in a certain "camp" and I am not saying that every person ought to be a
fundamental or independent Baptist---but, what I am saying is that more people ought to
know what and why they believe and then live it. *From the Word* not from simply
following tradition. Then, live it everyday. Live it everywhere. Having said all that, and
knowing that my saying that won’t effect change… what might we do to be the
helper of a godly man? What might we begin praying for in our husband’s lives? What
way may the LORD be prompting in us to live that would be a right influence or help in the
life of our husband. I ask myself this question from time to time…"Is my husband
attempting to live godly and is there something I am doing that is making his choice
difficult?" (Is he trying to rise early and do I keep staying up too late? Or, is he
trying to memorize Scripture and I keep talking to him? Or, is he trying to keep to a
schedule and I keep having conflicts with it?) I suggest this type of examination because
we are to be a help meet or fit for our husband---not the challenge to his life. So
then…what changes are in order in our own lives? What have we been up to lately that
really ought to change? What have we been meddling in that we ought to walk away from? Are
we spending the time in the Word that we ought? Do we rest in the presence of the
LORD---to listen to Him and wait on Him? We won’t hear a voice we don’t
know… and we won’t follow a voice we can’t hear… and we won’t
walk the path if we haven’t paid attention to the directions.
We sure like our stuff, don’t we. If there’s a way that seemeth right unto
us---we sure do like to hang on to it, don’t we? I have been thinking about something
John MacArthur said on the radio a few weeks ago. He said, "Sometimes people get
angry at God over their circumstances," but he asked, "are more upset by our own
misfortune than our sin?" Oh, I mull this one over and over. Then remember how I
share with you how we often see coincidences when we are faced with a concept? You
know---using the definition of coincidence as being: when the Vertical meets the
horizontal. Anyway---here’s one more… my friend was visiting with me at about
that same time and was talking about a very closely related subject and she used a
statement from her own study that has also stayed with me… and it went something
like, "do I love my obstacle more than I love the LORD?" or, "do I love my
obstacle more than I hate the sin?" That has to be ""chewed on," and
mulled over a bit before you begin to see the deeper meaning and the many obstacles to
obedience in our lives. What belief system am I subscribing to that is really contrary to
what the Word of God says? Am I willing to make the sacrifice or the necessary changes to
bring my life in line with the Bible? Am I willing to take a risk to stand up for what the
Word says? I am I willing to lose my reputation to gain what I cannot lose? It is almost
amusing to me to write this to you today after having done this myself just this less than
a week ago. I felt led to say some very hard things---I will never regret the words that
were shared--- I wish it weren’t my mouth that uttered them…but I tell you with
my whole heart, I would share them again this minute if I heard the LORD’s call
again. Sometime I will share with you some of the thoughts and feelings that have
accompanied an obedient step of faith and the results that have come from that step.
Remarkably, I have had a flicker of joy through it all----not happiness---but joy. A sweet
friend has often said, "Happiness depends on happenings----Joy depends on
Jesus." What kind of home would you have were you to choose to be joyful---regardless
the circumstances you might be facing?
pamela spurling ~ The Welcome Home ~ 2000
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