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The Heart of My Husband Safely Trusts in Me
What if I were obedient to my husband?  (part two)

by pamela spurling

What if I were obedient to my husband... and what if I began each day in prayer... and as I sought the LORD, What if I asked Him to direct in ways I might be more obedient, helpful and loving to my husband?

What if my first thoughts on any decision were to be: "Is this pleasing to the LORD and honouring to my husband? What if I ordered my day around his schedule and his preferences?

What if my first concern was to meet his needs? What if I loved my husband in this way... no hidden motives, no strings attached, no time limit?

Uh-Oh---does this look like a mistake? These are the questions I opened with last week when I shared with you a couple of stories, personal stories, that demonstrated the heartache of carelessness toward my husband and the joy of reverencing my husband. I write to you in this personal way because I believe the deep and personal level of candidness is what the LORD has designed for the writing of the weekly messages. I think thatís why I was prompted to call them "Welcome Home" messages instead of expanding the Potpourri Messages I do for Bible study sometimes. I have surely seen that we all struggle in one way or another, in one or many areas in our marriages. It is my prayer and heartís desire to minister to you... to share with you the things the LORD lays on my heart and to inspire you to do well as a godly woman, wife, talk openly and to welcome you home, because home is where you hang your heart.

I know I will never personally meet or know many who read these messages... Some of you actually do spend time here in our home around the kitchen table and we have a good time visiting about issues we face. This is what I keep in mind as I write... hoping that you will sit here with me over a cup of tea and share the things of the LORD and freely talk over these matters of the heart. I am mindful this afternoon that there are many sisters in the LORD who are facing the daunting task of loving or obeying a difficult or rude husband or an unsaved husband or an unfaithful husband. There are still others who face a task of being the wife of a very strong, loyal and faithful husband but their own strong will or stubbornness or past hurt prevents them from being/feeling loving or reverencing their husband as they know they ought.

You see? Even in the "best case" scenarios, there are difficulties in marriages. Even in loving committed marriages there are tensions from time to time... wrinkles or tears in the fabric of the marriage. Does the Word of God cover all these cases? Yes, it sure does, and I surely do believe it, because I know the LORD will fill us and equip us to do that which He has called us to. I know He has in our marriage and I believe He will do this for you, too. HE loves us with an everlasting love and His mercies never fail. More than all of that---He loves that husband of yours more than you do. Whew! Thatís some LORD! Yes, the LORD who loves you and saved you from your sin loves your husband more---not more than you, but more than you do. In Godís eyes you are one. In Godís eyes you are joined together and His Word says that what God hath joined together, let no man put assunder. You are one. Some think this is a simplistic view...and to this thinking, I will say... yes it is simple...I will not say it is easy, but I will say it is simple.

O sisters... could we get a grasp on this one. Could we see this angle of marriage as God sees it? One. One in flesh, one in purpose, one in spirit... one in love. One. Why do we fight it? Why do we muddle it up from time to time?

The more I live with and the more I love my husband, I see what I shared with you last week: we often allow our *feelings* to control our decisions instead of allowing our *convictions* to control our feelings. Concerning the relationship between a husband and wife, there *must* come a point when we decide to allow him to lead and to wait on him, to trust him and to serve him.

I have shared with you that many years ago I had a "heart change" and I decided (and have had to reaffirm this decision *many* times) I would not allow my *feelings* to control my decisions... instead, I decided that my *convictions* would control my feelings and I would act on my convictions based on what the Word of God says and based on a life given to serving the LORD in our home. These are the facts of life to me.

Okay... so with that introduction and brief ;-) summary of last weekís message... you might be wondering what in the world I was talking about when I said Iíd be sharing about silly women led away... in a moment, I will share what Iím understanding about this and the message for each one of us from the verses in 2nd Timothy, chapter 3.

I long to have the heart of my husband safely trust in me...this is based on that key verse in Proverbs 31. I endeavor to speak in a manner as to never bring shame, embarrassment, humiliation or grief to my husband. I endeavor to live in a manner such that his heart---his heart---can safely *trust* in me. It is a wise woman who has her husbandís heart... and with it, the trust of her husband. I didnít say it is wise to have this... (though it is!), I said: it is a wise woman who has the heart and with it, the trust of her husband. Is this trust automatic and to be expected? Ahhh...were it that easy! I believe it is earned. So, then, the wise woman earns the trust of her husband.

This is where we get into the heart of the matter today... just like when we come to the Lord Jesus and lay our lives down at His Feet, so also we must do this concerning marriage and our life and role as a godly wife. (those of you who are unmarried, please tuck this away... these are things youíll need later)

One of the greatest challenges that faces Christian women today is what to do with all the information that is so readily available and is constantly coming into our homes each day through the mail, the news, radio, email, internet, phone calls, books, magazines, etc. We are almost overloaded with information. So much information looks good... like good food, and much of it is. So much information is pleasant to our eyes, seems good---and much of it is. So much information seems like it makes us wise... and much of it does. Some of it is so tempting that we just take it and eat it.


What if I were obedient to my husband? What if I began each day in prayer... and as I sought the LORD, what if I asked Him to direct in ways I might be more obedient, helpful and loving to my husband? What if my first thoughts on any decision were to be: "Is this pleasing to the LORD and honouring to my husband?"

2 Timothy 3.6-7

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

The idea I hope I can communicate with you today is the idea that we often go off on this trail or that study or this diet or that program or this business or that job or this project or that course of direction and *never* give a thought to seeking our husband first.

Do you know what I am talking about?

Sometimes, itís not until after we have eaten several bites of the apple that we remember: Oooops, we werenít supposed to be hanging around and eating from this tree, were we?!?

Sometimes we get involved in a business or a diet program and never think to consult our husband *first* about what his thoughts or preferences are... whether he thinks there might be a problem with the foundation of the program or the logistics of the little business or the belief system of the program.

Sometimes our husbands donít even have a chance to voice their opinion because we have already covered all the bases and donít really leave room for any questions-we make decisions to do something and donít even consider asking the valuable opinion of our husband. Do you have an idea of what I mean here?

You see, we are often led astray by things that *seem* great! Donít you find it amazing that satan is working in the way heís always worked... persuading with what seems good. Remember Eve was in the garden... observing the fruit... weighing her decision with her emotions...not with *truth* saying: it is good for food, it is pleasant to the eyes... it is to be desired to make one wise. Hooked. You see how heís crept into houses? He creeps in...appealing to our senses and our desires. And mixing a bit of truth with our carnal desires, we are misled... our desire to be in control... our desire to have things... our desperate desire to be thin... our hunger for God... our desire to appear to have it all together---our desire to be wise.

Some of the dangers we face when we donít seek wise counsel from our husband are the dangers of getting into situations that are foolish, following and believing teachings comprised of error, or we get over-involved in situations that are inappropriate for our time, ideals, family goals, etc.

What if the next time you received a postcard inviting you to a plasticware party or a cooking utensil party, you were to say to your husband, "would it be alright with you if I were to go to the _____party at So-Ďn-soís home?" And if there was a hesitation (however slight) on his part, would you *seriously* listen to his view and (eeek) *obey* it?

Or, what if at the end of the next notebook and photograph party you were to ignore your temptation to have the next party at your house(!) and forego all the cool stuff and maybe even miss out(!) on getting more stuff for *half!* price for inviting all your girlfriends over (telling them---they are under *no* obligation to buy *anything!*). What if you were to go home from that high, I mean, party, and what if you were to tell your husband of the party and the opportunity offered, etc., etc. and *wait* on him for *his* answer. Are you with me, here? This isnít about the dictator and the servant... this is about two people=one flesh. This is about sharing your whole life... this is about being a help *meet* or *fit* for your husband. Donít get caught up in the mistranslation: helpmate! God created the man and then the woman as his help---meet for him-or the helper suited to him. Donít run off yet.... This is what the Word says. You are specially fitted to your husband. This is a *privilege!* This is a *joy.* This will bless him, and it will bless you, too!

This is where we must not allow our *feelings* to control our decisions; instead, we must resolve that our *convictions will* control our feelings.

O, Sisters in the LORD, I pray that we would endeavor with our whole heart to seek the LORD... to walk in His ways and to search the Scriptures daily... rising early to drink from the well of Godís Word. I pray that our husbands would have joyful wives---wives of whom it is said, "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all."

I pray that we would be very careful as we go through our days... seeking and searching to be godly and wise---that our service and worship of the LORD would be demonstrated by the way we serve and honour our husbandís. May we not be silly women, led away... and may it *never* be said of us: "...Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth."

 ~ pamela spurling ~ © 2000-2002  The Welcome Home ~   © 1999ó2010   PO Box 2130 Snohomish, Washington 98291 USA
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