Motherhood:
Mama’s WMD’s
pamela spurling
Only
in recent years have WMD’s or the
term WMD’s become a commonly known
or commonly used term. I think
about the devastation of weapons of
mass destruction and as I often do,
I think of how ‘weapons of mass
destruction’ might correlate to the
home or motherhood. It’s a term of
war or arsenal of the enemy.
So, I was walking through the store
and I heard a tired, exasperated and
foolish mother unloading her WMD’s
on her children. WMD’s are what
I’ve come to think of in recent
years when I hear a mother’s angry
outburst or some tirade against her
children. She warns them they’re
not getting anything. She threatens
to take them out to the car. She
tells them they’re naughty little
brats. She tells them she’s tired
of them making noise. She tells
them she’s going to leave them at
the store. She tells them they’re
bad.
WMD’s. Mama’s Words of Mass
Destruction.
Every mama’s got ‘em: words of mass
destruction. Every mama’s used ‘em
at one time or another or… sadly,
many times. Furious anger against
the little one who spills yet
another glass of milk. Rage over
another mess. Another ranting and
raving over the messy room, the
unfinished chore or incomplete
schoolwork. We’ve all done it at
one time or another –or many times.
WMDs. And they are massively
destructive. O, they don’t seem
like it at the time. Noooo. They
seem righteous at the time. After
all, we’re telling them the truth
–someone’s got to! And we’re
justified! They’ve broken the
rules, caused a mess, disobeyed!
They deserve what’s coming to them!
Really? Do they really deserve our
WMDs? Are WMD’s really the answer?
O, in a saner moment we’d say,
surely not. We’d say, in a rational
moment, that what they need are
sweet, understanding words – they
don’t need WMD’s. Nobody
needs/deserves WMD’s. WMD’s really
don’t help anyone –in fact, just the
opposite. WMD’s truly are words of
mass destruction.
As mama’s, we have an arsenal of
weapons at our disposal. We have
bitter words, grievous words, biting
words, sarcastic words, caustic
words, destructive and humiliating
words. We can, at once, reduce a
child to tears or worse, to great
shame. Words. Simple words. Ugly
words that we would never dream of
saying aloud in the presence of our
acquaintances but freely fling at
the precious gifts the LORD has
entrusted into our care and
training.
It’s a lie… that saying: sticks and
stones may break my bones, but words
will never hurt me. That’s a lie.
We know that some of our deepest
personal wounds are word wounds.
Wounds that perhaps were sustained
decades ago are instantly painful at
the remembrance of words we once
heard.
So, the mother walked through the
store. Occasionally, the child
would say an inappropriate word or
beg once again for some forbidden
item. And once again, the tirade
would be repeated… the WMD’s once
again flung at the child. And the
cycle of mixed shame and anger
repeated once again. This would
likely be done many times over
throughout that, and every day as
that mama didn’t grasp the
magnitude, significance or
consequence of her words. Little
did she know that she was really
launching an attack with her cache
of WMD’s.
WMD’s don’t have to be that overt to
cause damage. Little sarcasms and
snide remarks can do as much or more
damage. Sarcasm and coarse talk is
quite the common and acceptable form
of communication these days. I’ll
write on that shortly.
But for now… I want to contrast the
WMD’s… Mama’s Words of Mass
Destruction with sweet
words. Sweet words
are those words a mama says that are
soothing… calming… reassuring…
encouraging… affirming. They’re
quite the opposite of the WMD’s.
And a mama has to work hard at
stocking and storing another sort of
WMD … Words that Minister Delight.
And we do have a choice. We can be
like the impatient, ignorant, loud
and foolish mothers who bark and
bite at their children or we can be
sweet, understanding and loving
mothers who minister sweet words to
our children… words that build them
up; not words that tear them down
and foster anger. We can strive to
be women who don’t stoop to the
lesser ways of parenting but who
strive for the higher, better,
lovely manner of mothering children:
mothers who convey they are glad
they’re where they’re at and glad
they’re with who they’re with and
glad they’re doing what they’re
doing.
Decide today…. No more WMD’s… Be
done with lesser things. Choose to
work at lavishing Words that
Minister Delight. And may the LORD
bless us all as we seek to serve and
honour Him in all that we do.