1. Admit when we are wrong.
We all remember Dad’s
willingness to admit his faults.
I’m not sure why that seems
important enough to mention
first. It could be that I’ve
heard my wife Di talk about how
that quality impressed her. When
visiting in our home before we
were married, she saw Dad come
to the dinner table and, before
sitting down, apologize to the
family for his irritability
toward Mom. Or, maybe I just
can’t think of anything that
continues to be more necessary
for me than to admit my own
wrongs.
2. Don’t try to be someone
else. Dad knew what it was
like to be compared to his
gifted and much-loved father.
Some told him he didn’t have
what it would take to lead the
ministry his father founded. The
comparisons were hard on him.
But over time he used the
experience to show us how to be
the person God made us to be.
And as a result of what he found
in the trenches of his own
battle for self-respect, he gave
the rest of us the freedom we
needed to be ourselves as well.
3. Think small while dreaming
big. Dad showed us the
importance of being honest in
little things. He’d go back to a
restaurant to return change if
he found he’d been given too
much at the cash register. What
others called “white lies” were
big issues to him. He didn’t
even like to exaggerate to make
a point. For him, issues of
urgency or cost were no excuse
to forget the principle that “he
who is faithful in what is least
is faithful also in much” (Luke
16:10). Attention to detail,
however, didn’t keep him from
dreaming. His vision for
outreach through television and
multiple teachers resulted in
years of growth of RBC
Ministries.
4. Be careful what we say
about others. Dad wasn’t
part of “the grapevine” that
circulates news of other
people’s failures. I don’t
remember hearing him talk about
other leaders’ mistakes. Maybe
it was because he himself had
felt the sting of unkind rumors
and remarks. He simply took to
heart the Scriptures that call
us to love one another. The 13th
chapter of 1 Corinthians was one
of Dad’s favorite Scripture
passages, and he read it often
to his staff.
5. Read biographies with a
grain of salt. Dad’s
reluctance to be unnecessarily
critical of others came with an
interesting footnote. He didn’t
put a lot of stock in
biographies. Although he saw the
value of “stories of great
people,” he took them with a
grain of salt. He knew that the
real story of a person’s life is
seldom published.
6. Relax with those who are
important to you. Dad worked
hard. While taking his
leadership responsibilities
seriously, he wrote, edited, and
rewrote his messages and
devotionals until they had the
simplicity and clarity he was
looking for. But he also knew
how to put his work aside and
relax. He loved walks on the
beach or going for a drive in
the country with Mom. He looked
forward to spending time on the
golf course with friends. I
remember how much he enjoyed
showing my brothers and me how
to use a fly rod to work an
orange spider into the lily pads
of a quiet lake as we hunted for
bluegill or largemouth bass. We
also have plenty of memories of
him at home with a bowl of
popcorn and a board game like
Monopoly or Scrabble.
7. Cultivate balance. Dad
learned by experience to listen
to both sides of an argument. In
his later years he told us how,
as a young manager, he’d listen
to one side of an employee
conflict and think he understood
the problem. Then he’d talk to
the other side and hear a
completely different
perspective. The balance and
fairness he cultivated in
employee relationships showed up
in other ways too. In so many
ways he taught us to avoid
one-sided extremes in thinking
or behavior.
8. Avoid irreverent jokes.
Over the years we saw in Dad a
healthy fear of the Lord. Jokes
about the Scripture were out of
bounds as far as he was
concerned. It wasn’t that he
didn’t have a sense of humor. He
loved a good laugh. But he drew
the line when it came to talking
lightly about God or the Bible.
9. Question our own use of
Scripture. Because of Dad’s
reverence for the Word of God,
he also taught us to second
guess the way we quote the
Bible. When critiquing
manuscripts written by his
staff, he would repeatedly write
in the margin, “Does the Bible
really say that? Really?” He
showed us that if we really want
to trust or teach what God has
said, we need to be willing to
doubt our own interpretations
and motives.
10. Trust in God and do the
right. Since Dad’s passing,
many of his friends, co-workers,
and family members have agreed
on one central focus that seems
to best represent his life. Much
of the legacy he left us can be
summed up in the words, “Trust
in God and do the right.” We
remember those words as they are
repeated in a poem written by
Norman Macleod that Dad often
read to his staff.